Most millennials in India have grown up with a few dozen people telling them what is right or wrong. And the inevitable question — whom should one marry? In a surprising trend that goes back to the old guard, many city youngsters are looking to settle down in arranged marriages after going through the grind of getting their education and professional qualifications.
The bright side of this particular trend that also comes with its own taboos of being a patriarchal symbol, is the fact that the family is quite for it, and it is a decision that comes with less drama too. You would be choosing a person who wants the same things as you, and is willing to go the extra mile. Serene Sarah George, a psychology student says, “I spared myself the drama of going through break-ups and make-ups. When I felt I wanted to get married, I was open to the idea of an arranged marriage since I have seen it working wonderfully well. I did take my time to say yes. The good thing here is your prospective partners are a niche bunch who are genuinely looking to share a lifetime with a likeminded individual. So this is so much easier than randomly searching around in the huge big world. Some also feel that it might be a gamble, but any marriage to me is a leap of faith.”
Involving the family in a decision as big as choosing the person you wish to live with is a choice that many of them take. Meghana Singhal, a psychologist says, “Today, youngsters seem to have done it all by the time they go in for an arranged marriage. They’ve had relationships, dated or had flings. By the time they get to a stage where they want to get married, they go in for a choice that the parents approve of. Their experiences show them that this is a better way of finding a life partner.”
The most important aspect for any marriage is the coming together of two families. Rashmi Naren, a teacher believes that opting for an arranged marriage makes the couple’s bond stronger, “An arranged marriage gives you more support as it’s arranged with the help of those close to you, and the decision is more thought through. The family’s acceptance is very important. In a love marriage, you take your own decisions, and have to constantly prove that you made the right choice.” Which can be a tough ask.
Cicily S, a parent says, “As a parent, we always try to protect our children, and guide them however old they may be. Helping my daughter or son choose a life partner, when the time comes, is a way of ensuring that their family life is secure as they move on to being more independent. Youngsters these days are very aware of what they want but there are matters that request an older person’s guidance.”