No true love on the internet

Columnist  | Ashley Tellis

Lifestyle, Sex and Relationship

Go and meet men at real social gatherings, in real time to find true love.

Ashley Tellis will answer questions about relationships, sexual health and general knowledge and concerns about and for the LGBT population in India. (Photo: AFP | Representational)

Q  I am a 23 year old gay man and I am tired of gay apps like grindr and blued. The men do not have pics, only send dick pics and once they meet you, they block you. It is a use-and-throw culture. Is there no true love in the gay world?

—Suresh, Mumbai

Sometimes I feel there is no true love in the world at all, darling, but I am 50 and I have not lost hope. Neither should you. In my time (I grew up in the 80s and early 90s in Bombay), there was nothing. No internet, no groups, no NGOs, no real-time events. You have everything. I would say give up the internet as a place to find love. Go and meet men at real social gatherings, in real time. There are plenty of those in Bombay. If you need actual numbers and locations, let me know.

Q I am a 27 year-old divorcee now with a lesbian partner and we hope to get married soon. We want to fight for same-sex partner recognition in health insurance, LIC policies and so on. We know we may not succeed but is it worth trying? We have just begun talking to lawyers. We want to make a small dent even before dying.

— Anjali, Delhi

I think it is totally worth trying, Anjali. More power to you and your partner! I think these benefits are much more important than marriage (indeed civil pacts in European and other countries are precisely about these rights), which, to me, is a criminal and damaging institution. All the best and I am happy to join in the struggle, so let me know.

In this column, Ashley Tellis will answer questions about relationships, sexual health and general knowledge and concerns about and for the LGBT population in India.

An LGBH activist for over thirty years, Tellis is an academic, a journalist, an editor and a writer on LGBT and other minority issues. Write to him at ashley@deccanmail.com

Read more...