Step up to a new life

Getting hitched may mean adapting to a new lifestyle and being mentally prepared does help

Update: 2015-07-23 23:19 GMT
Mira and Shahid at their reception in Mumbai; (below) the newly-weds are surrounded by shutterbugs on their way to the gym (Photo: file photos)

It’s been a whirlwind courtship and a quick wedding for Mira Rajput and Shahid Kapoor, and now Rajput has to adjust to the lifestyle of her Bollywood star husband pretty fast. Even as she met with B-townies like Amitabh Bachchan and others at her reception in Mumbai on the one hand, she also got a taste of what the media glare can be like when she stepped out to the gym one morning and was immediately surrounded by the paparazzi.

Even as Mira  adapts to her life in the metaphorical fishbowl, experts pointed out that at various levels, this is something several of us need to do: Adapting to the considerably more high profile  or socially active lifestyle of a partner as compared to what we’ve been used to. But adapting isn’t an issue — as long you have support from your partner.

Be mentally prepared
The decision to get married or get into a committed, long-term relationship is one of the most life-changing events and marrying someone who is socially more eminent than you could mean a drastic change in priorities, lifestyle and your social circle.
Life coach Devanshi Gandhi observes, “Getting married to someone who is much more in the limelight requires an individual to be mentally prepared for the transition. It can get overwhelming at times, since it is a huge lifestyle change. Being mentally prepared before you take the plunge is a must.”

Be flexible
A marriage or relationship means being open about each other’s plans, and the willingness to go beyond the comfort zone when necessary.  “When you marry  irrespective of whether your partner is famous or not  you are choosing to be with someone whose life experiences and perspectives are different from yours. Being open and flexible about new experiences is one of the best ways to adapt,” life coach Malti Bhojwani states.

This also means that you will often be expected to get out of your comfort zone. If the partner leads a highly social lifestyle, understand that it will stay the same even after marriage. Use this opportunity to expand your social network. Milind Jadhav, life coach, says, “Initially one could feel out of place in a new environment  and it is only natural. Remember that getting out of your comfort zone only expands your comfort zone: A new lifestyle, a new environment, new people are stepping stones for personal growth.”

Take help from the spouse
If at all, you find it difficult to accustom yourself to the new lifestyle, make it a point to keep your partner in the loop. The good news is that you are in this together, and it will help him or her be on the same page as you.  Life coach and psychotherapist Khyati Birla says, “Your partner ca help fill the gap in areas they notice you are struggling with. Also, if you cannot adapt to the limelight, talk to your partner and see what compromise you can come up with.”

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