Psychologists shed light on the many ways of surfing through the 'No Contact' period in relationships
Going radio silent serves good. Perhaps the No Contact rule just helps enforce that. It’s a period where you choose not to contact or respond to your partner or your ex, come what may. The multitude of emotions may make you go berserk. However, the No Contact rule serves as a vital tool in helping you carve time out for yourself to introspect, heal a bit and then jump back. Cutting off communication is how it gets started.
Varying Tactics
Dr Kavita Pant, a Consultant Psycho-logist says, “The No Contact Rule is a tactic in which a person eliminates all means of communication with their partner for a certain amount of time that could range from 30 to 60 days max.” This period usually witnesses a spree of no texting or calling or other social media contact. The purpose is clear: give both parties space to work through their relationship, regain some emotional clarity and then (if needed) get back.
Love Hormones
Blame it on the hormones if you feel it’s too tough to voluntarily stay away from your partner. “Psychologically, breakups trigger the same brain areas associated with addiction withdrawal,” explains Kavita. Such No Contact rules serve as remedial or correctional measures to correct certain habits or if worse, addictions.
Kavita opines that these rules help decrease emotional dependence and shatter unhealthy attachment patterns. It also provides you with enough time for reflection. To prioritize your needs over others. Sarika Shukla, a Counselling Psycho-logist says, “The No Contact Rule can help couples process emotions more effectively because constant communication often leads to confusion and emotional turbulence.”
Sarika opines that taking a step back would cater to allowing individuals to heal and gain a fresh perspective on their relationship. In many ways, it even prevents an emotional burnout that could be in the making due to repeated conflicts or unresolved issues.
Effective Implementation
Getting on the path of self-healing can be a difficult task. One that is seldom understood and more preached about. However, to create a space for self-reflection and emotional independence one needs to first garner a sense of self. The ‘No Contact’ rule helps you unite with your inner self. “A line should be drawn based on intent and emotional well-being” explains Sarika. She shares that there is a fine line of distinction that needs to be drawn behind the intention of having such a rule implemented in relationships.
Sarika says, “If no contact is being used to manipulate, punish or avoid difficult conversations, it may turn out to be unhealthy for both partners involved.” A good indicator of reconnecting could be once emotions feel more settled. There should be mutual willingness between the two to communicate without excessive reluctance, pain or resentment.
Get This Right
Many people may employ the no-contact rule to make their partner or their ex realize their loss. But the ‘No Contact’ phase is not a tool for manipulation to win a partner back. One may consider such rules as a period for personal growth and a safe space for gaining clarity. It’s here that you may consider being mindful of the fuel that sets the no-contact rule in motion. While sailing through this period may seem like a Herculean task, it is important to acknowledge the loneliness and episodic sadness that come with it. Sarika cautions, “Healthy relationships require open communication and emotional availability, so it’s important to use this strategy with balance!”
