Thanks to ChatGPT, even the most grammar-challenged are churning out poetic prose, leaving literary purists baffled and even wedding proposals sounding like epics
It started subtly. A few unusually well-worded LinkedIn posts. Some e-mails that read like they belonged in a literary journal rather than a corporate inbox. Then, almost overnight, the floodgates burst open. WhatsApp forwards transformed into poetic soliloquies. Wedding invitations resembled renaissance-era declarations of undying love. Even local grocery lists were laced with metaphors (one litre of milk, as pure as the Himalayan snow; coriander, lush like monsoon-drenched fields).
People who once considered ‘ur’ a fully acceptable word are now waxing eloquent about existential dilemmas in 500-word Facebook captions. Teachers found their students, once lazy to write more than three sentences, submitting essays that could rival literary theses. The opening line of an HR e-mail announcing the arrival of a new coffee machine read ‘in the hallowed halls of our humble establishment, a new era of caffeinated delight dawns upon us.’
“I am honestly bewildered,” says Sharan Apparao, a prominent art gallerist. “I used to get straightforward proposals from artists. Now, I receive e-mails that begin ‘Dearest Custodian of Aesthetic Grandeur, I beseech you to gaze upon my humble canvas that whispers tales of existential longing.’.. I just wanted to know if the painting had a price tag!” Meanwhile, Shalu Arvind, an educationist, finds herself in an unexpected predicament.
“Students who previously struggled to form a grammatically correct sentence are now turning in essays on Newton’s laws that sound like lost Shakespearean monologues. I had one student describe gravity as ‘the omnipresent yet oft-ignored puppeteer of our mortal dance.’ What am I supposed to do with that?” she quips.
But the real crisis is that serious academics and writers who have spent years honing their craft are finding themselves overshadowed by former grammar delinquents now penning flawless prose at the click of a button. “There was a time when bad writing was a clear giveaway in assignments. Now, I’m reading these essays and thinking, ‘Either I’m in the presence of a future Nobel laureate, or someone had a little chat with ChatGPT’,” said Preetha Ganesh, another educationist.
The phenomenon extends beyond academics. Marriage proposals, once straightforward affairs, have become grandiose literary events, with families exchanging e-mails and WhatsApp messages with unfettered flair. In India, where arranged marriages once began with a simple ‘Biodata attached,’ ChatGPT has turned proposals into dramatic exchanges. Families now send messages like ‘Respected Mr…, our son is a kind and successful young man seeking a life partner to live a blissful life of abundance,’ only to receive in return, ‘We appreciate your warm words and look forward to discussions that will enhance the way our children come together in wedded bliss.’
The stark reality is that the English language is no longer the exclusive playground of the erudite. Thanks to ChatGPT, everyone has become a prose pundit, a linguistic virtuoso, a poet laureate of the digital age and Shakespeare’s distant relative!
And Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave, perhaps feeling just a tad redundant!
