If there’s one thing that feels better than laughter, it’s probably orgasm. But to reach orgasm, one needs to have sex. And the problem in today’s world of cutthroat competition and 24x7 connectivity is that people, irrespective of their gender and sexual orientation, are just not having enough sex.
“Earlier, when we were courting, we were at it. I mean we would have sex at least three to four times a week, but in the past 10 years, things have changed. We are both either watching television after work or busy checking our phones. Now we have sex (or rather a quickie), probably once in two weeks,” says Shalini (name changed), a theatre artiste, whose partner is a 40-year-old documentary filmmaker. Sexologists say people have wider options these days to seek different kinds of pleasures — Facebook, Twitter, porn, dating sites, video games and Netflix to name a few. A recent study conducted by the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour (the official publication of the International Academy of Sex Research), states that married couples in the US had sex an average of 56 times a year in 2014, down from 67 in 1989. But it’s not just the Americans, tired and preoccupied Indians are also having less sex. The study has cited several cultural changes in recent years that contribute to the decline.
In India, most people shy away from talking about sex but not if you are Bollywood actor Bobby Darling. “I don’t know about this sex study, but as far as I am concerned, my sex life is rocking,” says Bobby, who got married last year and is now settled in Bhopal.
Sexologists across the world opine that work pressure and social media is single-handedly ruining people’s sex lives and breaking up couples everywhere.
“Just look around, and you will notice that people touch their smartphones more often than they touch their partners,” says Lola, a 50-year-old yoga teacher, who lives with her British husband in Goa.
Lola believes that sex is a biological need, “but there are various factors that affect a couple’s sex life — age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and natural libido. What might seem like too much sex to one person may seem like too little to another.”
Of late, instead of indulging in actual sex, there is a trend of sexting (sending sexually loaded text messages and pictures) among those under the age of 30.
“I am in a distant relationship with my partner for the past five years. My boyfriend handles digital advertising and is based in Singapore for the past five years. So sex happens once in three or four months when either one of us flies down to Mumbai or Singapore. But we are ‘sexting’ each other every single day,” says John (name changed), a 26-year-old journalist from Mumbai.
We all know that sex helps a person rejuvenate, boosts immunity, releases feel-good chemicals called endorphins, and — in men — improves prostate health. So it’s time you turn off (your laptops and smartphones) and tune in to your partner for some good sex!
