Q I am a 35 year-old doctor from a small town in UP and I work in a private hospital in Khammam. I live alone and feel very lonely. One needs someone in life to be with, to look after you in sickness, to be yours forever. I have six siblings, five brothers and one sister. We have married the sister off. I am not out to anyone but my bade papa’s beta from his other marriage and he supports me. I work, come home go to sleep, go to work again. What is this life? How do I find a gay partner? I want someone I can spend the rest of my life with, someone of my level. This is because I am very careful about image and badnaami. All I find online are stupid, sick people who want me to send nude pics so I have left all online platforms. There is huge pressure on me to marry as I am the third son and the first two are married. But I do not want to ruin some woman’s life. Anyway, nowadays women are very nasty and they file cases once they find out, demand money, cause badnaami and problems. Can you help me find my partner for life?
—Dr. SK, Khammam
Partners for life cannot be manufactured to order and home-delivered. Nor is a partner the solution to all ills; indeed a partner might increase problems in life. Heterosexual men marry for the reasons you describe — someone to look after you when sick, cook for you, clean. Servants are available for that. You need to be strong in yourself, ask yourself why you are lonely. It is good that you are not marrying a woman but don’t blame women for being pissed off when they discover their husbands are gay. Get back on online platforms, meet people. Kiss all the frogs till you find your prince. He is not going to fall in your lap in Khammam, for sure. Get on a bus, come to Hyderabad, hang out at gay events, meet people. Get with the programme, beta!