Look past the lavish, eccentric ceremonies and histrionic “boo-hiss” parliamentary debates, British politics has always been a rather boring place. I mean that not as an insult, although I will admit it informed my decision to become a foreign correspondent in this vast and vibrant country, rather than stalking the press galleries and pubs of Westminster. Instead, there has always been something wonderfully predictable about the Mother of all Parliaments, where the odd blip such as an occasional world war or the collapse of the British Empire barely intrudes on the steady passage of democratic process. Even for the past few days, when Britain has essentially had no leadership — a semi-retired David Cameron’s only noteworthy act has been to get booed by the crowd while attending Wimbledon’s tennis final — the steady inertia of the country’s politics kept things trundling along just fine. So the events of the last 20 days have left me wondering: can we have our boring politics back, please?
Since the British public shocked everyone — not least itself — by voting for Brexit on June 23, the twists, turns and tortured rollercoaster metaphors have been endless. We have seen David Cameron, our unflappable and silver-tongued Prime Minister who was due to rule for another four years, suddenly step down. We have seen Boris Johnson, Mr Cameron’s bombastic heir-apparent, abruptly drop out of the race to replace him after being betrayed by his own campaign manager Michael Gove, who was himself then ejected from the race as a traitor by previously supportive MPs. We have seen the emergence and sudden disintegration of Andrea Leadsom, whose passage from political nobody to political has-been — via a brief stint as Theresa May’s sole rival for the Conservative leadership — took less time than it takes England’s football side to get kicked out of a European tournament. And that’s not to even mention the utter collapse of Labour, Britain’s main Opposition party, where current leader Jeremy Corbyn was last spotted threatening to sue his own MPs if they tried to block him from running for re-election in a leadership coup launched against him earlier this week. Seriously, enough is enough. Bring back the boring.
Today, a woman who promises exactly that will be appointed as Britain’s new Prime Minister. Theresa May, a solidly middle-class, grammar-school educated vicar’s daughter from the “Home Counties” of southern England, will become the country’s second-ever female Prime Minister. Even this came about in suitably dramatic fashion after Ms Leadsom unexpectedly dropped out of the Tory leadership election before it had even started on Monday. In fact, the only thing that prevented Ms May being breathlessly anointed on the spot was Her Majesty the Queen, who was away on her Sandringham estate, and therefore not available to receive Mr Cameron’s still-drying resignation letter. But in case anyone was left in any doubt as to whether the rollercoaster (sorry) of British politics is set to continue, Ms May launched her leadership bid with this candid self-appraisal: “I know I’m not a showy politician. I don’t tour the television studios. I don’t gossip about people over lunch. I don’t go drinking in Parliament’s bars. I don’t often wear my heart on my sleeve. I just get on with the job in front of me.” In other words, it is now safe to go and put the kettle on.
There are of course great virtues in this style of leadership. At a time when the pound sterling is at a three-decade low, and the economy is facing a real threat of recession over Brexit uncertainty, it is understandable that the country has opted for a steady hand on the tiller. Even the normally combative British media’s reaction has been unusually united in welcoming this turn of events. Pro-Brexit tabloid newspapers such as the Daily Mail and The Sun have celebrated Ms May’s triumph, despite her record as a “Remain” supporter. She is seemingly the safe pair of hands we all want. But it is worth remembering that this has not always been the case. In a country where legal bookmakers will offer gamblers odds on anything from the next One Direction member to quit to Elvis Presley’s current whereabouts, Theresa May has always featured on the list of potential next Conservative leaders, but never high up.
She has always been the “Plan B” option, behind more glamorous (and usually male) rivals like Mr Johnson and George Osborne, chancellor of the exchequer. True, Ms May can claim some notable achievements. Just staying in the job of home secretary for six consecutive years — a famous political graveyard where gaffes are almost by default career-ending — has literally been a record-breaking feat. And perhaps it is just that her personal victories in the role have not been the “sexy” type that claim headlines. While she successfully defied European courts in deporting Jordanian hate preacher Abu Qatada, and won credit for reforming Britain’s police federation, much of her time has been spent fire-fighting issues like the London riots of 2011, or the sporadic collapses of border controls at Britain’s ports and airports.
Her supporters will rightfully say that this is precisely what a home minister should be doing. And it would be of course be unfairly harsh to judge her in the top job before she has even begun. But in these madly accelerated times, let us do just that. Once the dust has settled and the markets have calmed, Britain is faced with the Herculean task of forging itself a new identity for a post-European, post-globalised age — a job that surely needs bold, imaginative leadership more than ever. Ms May has already succeeded in reuniting the ruling Conservative Party — itself no small feat. But for all her virtues, Ms May’s “just get on with the job” mentality is surely closer to the pragmatic but failed legacy of Gordon Brown than the ideological zeal of Margaret Thatcher. The most ubiquitous soundbite currently being used to describe Britain’s new leader is one that was accidentally coined by Conservative grandee Ken Clarke, who was filmed in what he though were off-camera remarks last week describing Ms May as a “bloody difficult woman”. But for a country entering uncharted territory, will obstinacy really be enough? In the long run, Britain may find itself stuck with the “Plan B” Prime Minister.
