While working for the welfare of the fairer sex, women and child welfare minister Maneka Gandhi was rather unfair in her take on paternity leave. While maternity leave now has been extended to 26 weeks, demand for paternity leave, too, is gaining ground.
However, according to the minister chances of paternity leave being misused are high. Current regulations allow government employees to go on a 15-day paternity leave while there is no such law in the private sector.
“Men in India do not utilise their existing leaves in order to take care of their child. If men gave me one iota of hope by taking sick leave for child care, then yes, we can think of mooting a proposal for paternity leave,” the Union minister said. She compared paternity leave to another “holiday”.
In a country which promotes “hum do, hamare do”, the responsibility should be shared regardless of gender. Therefore, we spoke to professionals for their take on her statement.
A shared responsibility
Dr Mahesh Joshi, CEO, Apollo Hospitals’ Home Healthcare, feels as a co-parent it is also the father’s responsibility to take care of the child. However, there may be chances of it being misused. But, in the long run it will set the tone of parenting as a shared responsibility.
“It is unfair to paint all the men with the same brush. Yes, traditionally, a mother has played the dominant role in the upbringing of children; but times are changing. In fact when my boys fall sick — that is the only time they preferably want me to be around than their mom. Also, being in the home healthcare business and attending on quite a few newborn babies, I’ve seen for the first time that fathers are equally if not more indulgent in attending to the needs of the baby,” says Dr Joshi.
Background matters
City-based designer Esha Hindocha, says, “It depends upon men’s upbringing. It’s not just about the ‘baby-chores’, but in general should not they shoulder daily work too? Men have always been taught that ‘household jobs, bringing up babies’ are “women’s jobs”. In fact, if some men do show up on the wives’ call, they are mocked by terming them as “joru ka ghulam”. A house and a baby are joint responsibilities of a couple. But times are changing, especially in the urban areas. Men and women realise that taking care of children is a tough job. Also, literacy plays a major role. In the rural areas, if a man helps his wife; his mother and brother often mock him. But in cities, it’s different. I actually agree with her quote. Paternity leaves would be allowed only in companies and cities where the rural crowd doesn’t work.”
Man for the field...
However, the system also needs to change. “As usual, men are always the bad guys. Perhaps one should understand that the whole system is geared towards men staying in the office. Take the case of the senior government officer who was denied a half-day’s leave when his son reached out to him on the brink of a suicide. The attitude of officialdom is that the man should be in the office and the wife/grandparents will take of home and family matters. Why doesn’t Maneka Gandhi put the cart before the horse and see if it makes a difference, instead of waiting to see enough numbers till they take a decision. Our leaders have stopped being visionaries and can only respond in knee-jerk reactions,” says Piyush Jha, film director and screenwriter and novelist.
It’s an urban thing
“Today’s men are much involved and pre-natal classes are also quite common. Urban dads are more engaging than ever now. Yes, traditional mindsets may be quite different,” says Ananya Simlai, a working mother of two. But it’s still a grey area. The instances of familial neglect remains high in cities too and the hands-on man remains a rare species.
