Over the recent past, we have been observing an alarming number of suicides among adolescents and young adults across the country. Let us examine a few cases that appeared in the media:
Case 1: A teenage girl from Tamil Nadu ended her life last month after failing to qualify for this year’s entrance examinations. She was a bright student in school, who had fared extremely well in her class 12 examinations.
Case 2: As per media reports, a 12-year old girl from rural Tamil Nadu fatally jumped off her neighbour’s terrace after being reprimanded by her teacher. The girl was apparently denied permission to go to the washroom after noticing her uniform was stained with her menstrual blood.
Case 3: There are reports from Andhra Pradesh and Telangana that more than 50 students in plus-two committed suicide in the last two months, unable to stand the pressure to excel in entrance examinations.
Case 4: Possibly the latest in the series we have been reading about is the case of the young teenage girl who didn’t survive after jumping off her school building in Kollam. Most reports are consistent with the trigger being a tiff with teachers, subsequent to her sister being reprimanded for talking in the class. She had apparently got into an argument with teachers over her sister’s punishment, subsequent to which she jumped off the school building.
Who to blame?
Are teen suicide rates a concern in India? While suicide rates are highest in individuals over 70 years of age in most parts of the world, the scenario seems to be completely different in our country. 40 per cent of suicide deaths in males and 56 per cent of suicide deaths in females occurred at ages between 15 and 29, showing the need to target mental health care to the young citizens of our country. Are we creating monsters out of our parents and teachers? Are they really to blame? In many of these reports, the reason for attempting suicide does not seem to be a major stressor. We should all realize that failing exams, losing money and being reprimanded are normal events in the day-to-day life of an individual. A parent who truly loves his/her child and a teacher who is dedicated to her profession may want to bring out the best in the children. Ultimately, a poor farmer who scolds his son for losing a chain or a teacher who reprimands her student do these in good faith, in the best interests of the children. Although it is true that corporal punishment is never a mode of reforming a child, creating discipline without punitive measures is part of social discipline. Children are prone to look for immediate gratification, but it is the responsibility of parenting and schooling to create inner controls and thereby discipline. This process is created through “limit-setting”.
One of the major reasons why children have become emotionally fragile and easy prey to deliberate self harm is this inability to face adversity and to overcome failures. This is a huge life skill that the current generation of children fails to cultivate. In the process, several experts and some in the media have a tendency to create monsters out of parents and teachers. The resultant consequence is the loss of limit- setting and fragmentation of the controls in our society. Parents let children do as they please and teachers consciously abdicate their genuine responsibility and interest in constructively criticizing and disciplining children.
Discipline is not punishment
Discipline does not mean punishment. Discipline is the process of creating inner control through limit- setting by benevolent means. This entire process is getting lost to today’s generation of children as society seems to be overenthusiastic to find fault with parents and teachers instead of creating awareness to help children develop life skills to cope with stress and failure. A society that is performance-driven and not hard work-driven results in a generation that is emotionally fragile. Depression is an underlying cause; it is extremely vital to recognize depression in youth at the right time because it is the most common reason why children and adolescents attempt to end their life.
Depression, the killer
There are various psychological causes for suicide, which may include precipitating factors like academic failures and frustrations. Depression in children reflects itself often as irritability, loss of interest in studies, failure to partake in games and play, tiredness and lethargy etc and not necessarily as sadness. Appropriate treatment often including medications and psychotherapy is an absolute must. Psychiatric disorders are produced by chemical changes within the brain in designated brain areas which control the mind. Today, these chemical aberrations can be corrected eminently by using medications and therapy.
Need for early treatment of psychiatric disorders form a group of neurological problems which respond to treatment best when they are detected early and treated early. Depression is known to occur in 20 per cent of children and adolescents. They find it difficult to communicate their distress. Hence the need to intervene early and use medications and psychotherapy where required, without being held back by stigma and fear of consulting a mental health professional. The emphasis has to be multipronged preparation of our children and adolescents to face the troubles and tribulations: emotional, academic and social. These are life-skills that should be consciously taught and trained during the early years.
Thus spake Tagore on teen dilemma
Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore captures an adolescent’s travails of growing up in The Home-Coming, written in 1892-93. The protagonist, Phatik Chakravorti, is sent off to his uncle in a Bengal village as his mother finds it hard to bring him up. “In this world of human affairs there is no worse nuisance than a boy at the age of fourteen. He is neither ornamental, nor useful. It is impossible to shower affection on him as on a little boy; and he is always getting in the way. If he talks with a childish lisp he is called a baby, and if he answers in a grown-up way he is called impertinent. In fact any talk at all from him is resented. Then he is at the unattractive, growing age. He grows out of his clothes with indecent haste; his voice grows hoarse and breaks and quavers; his face grows suddenly angular and unsightly. It is easy to excuse the shortcomings of early childhood, but it is hard to tolerate even unavoidable lapses in a boy of fourteen. The lad himself becomes painfully self-conscious. When he talks with elderly people he is either unduly forward, or else so unduly shy that he appears ashamed of his very existence.
“Yet it is at this very age when in his heart of hearts a young lad most craves for recognition and love; and he becomes the devoted slave of anyone who shows him consideration. But none dare openly love him, for that would be regarded as undue indulgence, and therefore bad for the boy. So, what with scolding and chiding, he becomes very much like a stray dog that has lost his master”.
(The author is a consultant psychiatrist at Peejays Neurocenter in Kochi).
