In matrilineal societies such as Kerala, birthright, lineage and social classification are traced through the mother's ancestry rather than the father's.
So while doughnut shops, nightclubs and beauty parlours did roaring business on March 8th, internationally celebrated as Women's Day, my Mallu friend, Kuttichettan, refused to join in the revelry since the concept of woman on top is outdated as far as he is concerned.
"Ajid, Gerala is already very progressive state and we are having many communities where women are passing on family name to sons, inheriting property and all. By the by, fairer sex also taking important decisions and during bedtime, they are not feeling shy about taking what the gynaecologist may genteelly refer to as the 'feminine superior' position," he earnestly assured me.
No sweat, Kutti, that's way too much information, I thought. Or, make that less sweat, given the climatic conditions prevailing in God's Own Country which does have the devil's own weather.
In conservative Chennai, where I was raised, feminism wasn't a burning issue. My mother worked nine to five, ran the house and looked after the educational, emotional and corporal needs of her husband and children. It was only when I got to high school that I discovered that my household was unusual.
Ranga, a pimply, soda-bottle bespectacled classmate solemnly informed me that his father disapproved of working women. 'Appa told that ladies should be in house doing cooking, performing puja and such things only.
This working (whurking) woman is Western culture influence'. Fortunately Ranga Sr wasn't present at the British Council annual Christmas party where morally lax traditions (such as kissing under the mistletoe) were allowed, or he may have had the offenders publicly flogged on Anna Salai.
Kiran Mazumdar feels that women are far more empowered today thanks to better education, employment opportunities and the breaching of traditional male bastions, especially in IT.
While this may be true as one ascends the value chain, here's a dismaying statistic: for every progressive, well-paid woman in Bangalore's corporate sector, there are "about 29,000 contract Powrakarmikas, mainly Dalit women, who face injustice and abuse at the hands of contractors, the government, and society.
They pick up rotting garbage, animal carcasses and human waste with their bare hands - cutting themselves on stray razor blades and being forced to handle even medical waste, used diapers and dog faeces," as per the report filed by the ESG, headed by Leo Saldanha.
"For the arduous nature of work that they are expected to do, they barely receive anything remotely resembling a liveable wage. They are systematically denied payments, and those that do receive money usually only get around Rs.3000/month, a mere fraction of the Rs. 14,400/- that they are legally entitled to - a sum that itself was won after many years of struggle", he adds.
On March 8th, while their more fortunate soul sisters throng Mad about Donuts or avail the Full Monty of waxing, plucking and de-feathering at an upscale parlour, the powrakarmikas are spending Womens' Day at the BBMP demanding the abolition of the illegal contract system, which is nothing but modern day slavery steeped in corruption that efficiently drains both BBMP's coffers and taxpayer money.
Are Indian men threatened, excited or intimidated by feminism? By strident, aggressive women who call the shots and occasionally give in to "hormonally-challenge activities from which they need to be protected", to use Minister for Social Empowerment, Maneka Gandhi's elegant phrase.
In a scene eerily reminiscent of Trump's locker room talk, there's a parody of a Tarantino movie I saw on Netflix where this cold stone killer, Wayne, is discussing the Bobbitt case with his moll.
She says, 'That creep done beat her up and he raped her too. I hope she used a rusty knife.' 'Personally, baby doll, I don't see as how any woman can get raped by her husband on account of he's only taking what's his anyway', Wayne replies. 'You are such a dinosaur,' is her last word on the subject.
The concept of 'woman on top' can be viewed as a dirty snigger or as a philosophy of life. As Gloria Steinem famously observed, "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to handle a job and a career." Personally, I'm for celebrating our differences. As Marlene Dietrich said, "Most women set out to try and change a man and when they have succeeded, discover to their horror that they do not like him."
Ajit Saldanha has a finger in the pie, and another on the political pulse. And when he writes, he cooks up a storm.
