Chennai: Remember the struggles undergone by Jayam Ravi in the Tamil movie Santhosh Subramaniam? His dotting father feels that deciding for his son is his duty, giving ‘Santosh’ no scope of being different.
Similarly, there are many other movies such as Three Idiots and Wake Up Sid in Hindi and Ustad Hotel in Malayalam that depict dictating parents trying to decide their children’s careers for them.
This, however, is the case not only in reel life, but also in real life too. A number of parents, even today, try to decide their children’s future for them - trying to push their children into pursuing careers that they wish they could have pursued, or which they think is essential to maintain their family’s reputation.
However, Dr R.H. Belmaker, President, Israel Psychiatric Association and International Neuropsychiatry Association, said, “Children are programmed to learn from their peers and not from their parents.”
“I have had cases of parents, who are doctors, bringing their son or daughter to me, hoping I can convince them to follow their parents’ footsteps. It is not necessary that the child be born as bright as their parents. The child doesn’t necessarily have to follow his or her parent’s footsteps. They may have different interests, such as becoming a footballer, or an artist,” said Dr Belmaker.
In the Indian context, especially, it was seen to a great extent, until recently, that parents tried to push their children into taking up engineering or medicine.
Psychologists say it not only makes the child inefficient, but also depressed.
“There are some parents, who though educated, try to force their children to take up professions of business or medicine. I have had many youngsters coming to me, desperate to leave their course as they do not have the slightest interest in the subject which they took up after being coaxed into it by their parents,” said Counselor Dr Nilam P.
Dr Belmaker urged parents to accept their children as they are. “Even children born to well-educated parents may not show the same interest in academics due to independent assortment of genes,” he said.
