Chennai: Sundar Pichai is one lucky man. Unlike him, Tamils settled in the US, and other foreign locales, are struggling to find a bridal match back home as women prefer not to move abroad.
In what is a reverse of the ‘America maapillai’ (US groom) craze that dogged Tamil society for a good part of the last decade, matrimonial experts confirmed this declining preference for NRI grooms among the prospective brides’ families.
For instance, Krishna’s* parents cast a far and wide net to find a potential life partner for him. “Many women refused the alliance proposal because they were not too keen on quitting a well-paying job here in Chennai and move to the US to be with him,” said Ramesh Nagarajan*, Krishna’s father, a resident of Nanganallur.
“Finally, a match came through but that was only because the bride’s sibling was also settled in the US,” he added. According to T.V. Mohan, chairman of KM Wedding Events Management Inc., this is because brides now-a-days prefer to have families closer.
Financial independence is another reason and so their hands are no more tied when it comes to such decisions, he opined. “It also doesn’t help that there is an insecurity feeling created by reports of domestic abuse of brides who move abroad. It is not easy to assess a groom’s personality beyond a certain level and we know that people can have both silent and violent faces,” added Mohan, who is popularly known as ‘Kalyana Malai’ Mohan.
Sadana Raamaswamy, a psychologist, who did her post-graduation in the United Kingdom, noted that there was “nothing fancy” about living in a foreign country. “Job security is a factor that brides look into even when making a decision of moving abroad with the husband because finding an alternative employment is difficult in case the man ends up losing his job. There are also personal reasons like lack of familial support during pregnancy,” she said.
N.V. Ramani, a resident of Madipakkam, who is on the lookout for a bride for his son, told DC that women indicate willingness to study or work if they are to move. “But getting a work visa in the US is tough and if she wants to study, then the husband-wife time will have to be compromised upon. I know a few families who have had problems in their marital life due to this issue,” he said.
Vyishali Kemkar, a 21-year-old state basketball player, told DC that giving up on a career in order to enter into wedlock was not appealing. “I would like to continue playing until my early 30s. Either, I would not marry until then or ask the groom to wait until I am done with playing,” she quipped. Mohan observed that, of late, even parents of brides did not prefer marrying off their child to a desi migrant. “It ends up becoming a strain for them too because they are flown to the US in their old age to take care of their grandchildren,” he said. *Names changed on request.
