Bengaluru: On the face of it , Nikhil Santhosh, 16, a Ist PU topper and a brilliant student, should have had no reason to jump to his death from the 9th floor of Mantri Tranquil Apartment Wednesday evening. And so when he did, he left his family and friends stunned.
It happened around 4 p.m when like other days, Nikhil’s mother was waiting for him in the car to take him to his tuition classes in Jayanagar. The boy made an excuse saying he had forgotten his books in the apartment and returned to his flat no 902 in Block I. And even as his unsuspecting mother waited in the car for him, he walked up to the rear balcony and jumped to his death. It appeared to have been a pre-meditated act as had even missed school that day.
A handwritten suicide note recovered from his pocket by the police read, “Dear Mom and Dad, You guys were the best. You were right I don’t deserve to go to the US as 1350 marks are the worst anyone could get. I am also sorry I didn’t perform well in the 12th grade. You were right – You deserve a better child and I didn’t make you proud.”
A topper both in SSLC and Ist PUC, Nikhil saw his performance dip in II PUC and also scored relatively low marks in the private tests conducted in his tuition classes.
But pulled up by his parents and uncle for not doing as well as in the past, he seemed to have gone into a depression. “The parents clearly put pressure on him to do well in school. They could have gone a little easy on him,” said an investigating officer.
The trend of teenage suicides is alarming as not too long ago, Raunak Banerjee, a 14-year-old student of Baldwin High School took his life by jumping from the 10th floor of his apartment complex, leaving his family shocked and bereft. He was reportedly upset because his friends passed comments on his physical appearance.
These teen suicides only expose the lack of communication between parents and their children and schools and their students, believe psychologists. If trivial matters that can be amicably resolved by children opening up to their parents, are driving them to take their own lives, there is a clear need to bridge the communication gap, they stress.
Dr. Gururaj, assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the Bengaluru Medical College and Research Institute observes that children have become lonely in today’s fast paced world.
“Earlier, the environment was friendlier for them and they could open up or share their inner feelings with their grandparents, cousins or siblings. Nowadays, the culture of having nuclear families has not only left the children lonely and isolated in dealing with their problems, but has also created a gap between them and their parents,” he said.
When parents begin to question their children’s activities rather than spending time with them in a more friendly environment, their wards could possibly go into a shell and avoid mingling with people, he explains.
“One needs to understand that this doesn’t happen overnight. It’s only after the process has been on for some time that the child begins to think the world is not good enough for him/her. There should be counselling sessions for parents and children. Parents need to drop an aggressive approach to their wards and make them feel comfortable,” he advised.
Students admit depression is a cause for teen suicide
Various studies have revealed that depression is a major , if not the leading cause of teen suicide. The causes could be many, including the burden of parental expectations, say psychologists.
“Sadly, the focus is so much on educational achievement, top of class performance, good marks, and getting admission in reputed institutions that the child gets the feeling that his worth is evaluated on the basis of his achievements," said Dr Kumarshri Saraswat, consultant psychiatrist at Mind Care Peace Centre and a mental health expert at Icliniq.com.
"Criticism and comparison are big trigger points. Teachers are nicely placed to pinpoint a change in behavior among their students and to raise the red flags on symptoms that could lead them to take an extreme step," said the health professional, who claims to see around 10 cases a month of students from junior and professional colleges suffering from depression for various reasons.
Dr Anitha Chandra, a psychiatrist from North Bengaluru, however, points out that not all parents are insensitive to their children’s needs. "I have seen many parents that are a lot more understanding and have a better insight into the well-being of their children. However, parental supervision needs to be tweaked as parents often struggle to attain the middle ground on when to approve or disapprove of a child's behaviour. An adequate school support system can make a huge difference,” she underlined, suggesting that along with counselling, workshops and meetings should be held to educate parents on what is normal behaviour for a child at a certain age and what are the warning signs of depression.
“Depression and crankiness or aloofness is not just a child's problem but of the parents as well. Schools should also aim at creating more resilient children and youth. Let us not forget that a child spends most of its productive time in school," she noted.
