Talking Taboos: Honesty and openness best way for sex education, says expert

“Where do babies come from?” If you’ve ever been stumped by that question from a child, you’re not alone. But a recently launched series Sex Chat with Pappu & Papa seeks to answer it for you.

The Web series has a seven-year-old protagonist who is educated about sex and related themes by his father in a fun, healthy manner. Its first episode garnered over four lakh views within five days.

Talking about sex is still taboo in many Indian households and most parents feel awkward talking about it. But experts say it is extremely important to tell them the truth.

“These days, children are being exposed to a lot through movies and the Internet. Adolescence starts at the age of seven, and even though the child may not understand what is happening, their bodies respond to it. If the parent doesn’t give them answers, they will get them from elsewhere, which is not healthy,” says psychologist Sujata Raman, adding that it must be explained in an age appropriate way.

Actress and television show host Tara Sharma reveals that she followed this method with her own five and seven-year-olds, when they asked her about how they got into their mum’s tummy.

“I decided to answer as honestly and age appropriately as possible. I said, ‘You know when a Mummy and Daddy really love each other like me and Daddy, sometimes they come very close together in a special kind of hug, and a seed gets planted in Mamma that in 9 to 10 months grows into the baby, that is how you both came into my tummy and grew. So you are made by both of us,’” Tara says, adding, “They seemed content with my answer so I think it worked.”

However, Srikanth Acharya, a consultant psychologist, says that the right age for kids to be educated about sex is when they are 12 to 14 years old, according to the WHO.

He explains, “This is when psychosexual characteristics of one’s body and sexuality emerge. Sometimes, parents get extremely worried when they see children as young as six years rubbing or playing with their genitals. It is perfectly normal for a child to behave this way. Parents also need to be aware and educate themselves about sex so they don’t get too flustered when they come across situations like these or asked questions that are considered taboo by them.”

And though sex education starts at home, schools play a very important role too. Gita Karan, Founder-Principal of Gitanjali Senior School feels that sex education must be made mandatory in all schools.

“Parents in India are shy to speak to their children, so schools play a very impressionable role on the minds of children. We have sex education classes for standards eight and up, but for the younger kids, teachers are trained to handle these questions with care, only when asked,” says Gita.

Adding that sex education needs to be honest and universal in schools — without segregating boys and girls — Tara says, “In a book called Good Touch Bad Touch, the author explains that we should not use funny names for children to call their private parts. Just like we say nose or ears, we should say penis. I initially felt awkward doing this myself, but I realised why she makes this point. It is so that kids do not think there is something different and odd with that part as that may increase curiosity.”