Rape and sexual assault are extremely painful occurrence in a person’s life, and the ordeal which someone goes through in the aftermath of rape can be even more devastating.
But along with the person who is assaulted, their loved ones are also the ones who go through hell with the society’s approach towards rape survivors and a long battle for justice.
While politicians make irresponsible comments about rape and some people feel that a celebrity joking about the same is not a big deal, it is a harsh reality of life for rape survivors and those close to them.
This dude right here is evil. His act of violence in '98 impacted my life & someone that I loved. https://t.co/KgQLEVo6Ia
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
A Twitter user called Angry Man chose to come out and talk about how it feels when someone you love is raped. In a series of tweets, he describes how he still feels guilty for not being able to protect her and how the incident wrecked their lives.
I've never heard another man discuss the impact a rape of a woman he loved had upon him. But I've lived it and feel compelled to share
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
July 10, 1998. The day before my birthday. I was out with the homies at an Orioles game. Hung out, got drunk, got high, had a ball.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My girlfriend at the time had been out planning a surprise b-day party for me. Of course I was not aware of this at the time.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Anyway, I got home sometime around 2am. I admit that I had been driving drunk and should've stayed where I was.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
We lived together in Greenbelt at the time. I pulled up to the condo and saw a rack of police. I was drunk, so I got scared.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I didn't want to get out of the car and get hit with a DUI, so I sat there for about 30 mins. I then fell asleep.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I woke up around 4am to my girl's sister blowing up my cell phone. I answered and she was screaming "Where are you!?!?"
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I said "I'm right here, I'm right here" as I ran past the police cars still parked there, into the building and to my condo.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As I ran up the stairs I saw pieces of a dress that I had bought my girl strewn all over the steps. My heart was racing like shit.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I walked in and my girl was on the floor balled up in a fetal position covered in a bathrobe. I walked over to her & she was shaking
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I kept asking what happened, but she wouldn't answer. She just kept crying. Her sister pulled me away, into the bedroom & broke the news.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As she arrived home & placed her key in the door, she heard quick footsteps. A man grabbed her from behind & began to choke her.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
He tried to force her into the apartment, but she fought back. He then dragged her down 2 flights of stairs & out of the building.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
From there he assaulted her physically and then forcefully took her to the back of the building into a wooded area.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
At that point, he then sexually assaulted her. He physically assaulted her. He stole her purse & her keys and took off in her car.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
As my girl's sister told me this, I broke down. I mean, I broke the fuck down. I went back out and tried to hug my girl. She screamed.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I talked to the police. They verified what her sister told me. I was in shock. I couldn't breathe.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My baby was hurting. I wasn't there. I wasn't there to keep this from happening. Dear, God.. why!?!?
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Never in my life had I felt so much pain. I wasn't there to keep her from being raped. I was all kinds of fucked up.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Her sister got her up enough to get her to the hospital. We rode in the car silently. I sat in waiting areas while exams were done.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Got home. Her mom had arrived by then with her other sisters. They all surrounded her with love. Me, she wouldn't let me near her at all
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I just sat there... broken. There was nothing I could do. I'd touch her gently and she'd jump and start crying.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Cops had nothing on the car. Insurance was being a hassle. My mom then came over to see her.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
She went to stay with her sister. I advertised the condo for rent and we moved less than a week after the incident.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
There was no way we could stay there. She was a shell. She didn't say a single word to me for close to two weeks.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
The police would call, say they had potential suspects and I'd drive her down to Palmer Park to look at line-ups. Nothing. A painful process
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
After months of going to police station, the leads didn't pan out. No one was caught. The car turned up in the parking lot at Jasper's.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
She refused to get back in the car. State Farm gave me hassle. Claims agent joked that maybe we stole our own car since it was found close.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
All the anger & pain bottled up in me released. I jumped over the counter at the State Farm office and grabbed the claims agent.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I'm dealing with all this and this asshole thought we made it all up for insurance money. I lost it. Other employees grabbed me off him
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
They threatened to call the police. I told them what he said and what we had been through and that I had every right to kirk out on him.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
For the next 18 mos, it was pure hell. I did everything I could to be there for her. I didn't push sex because I knew what her psyche was.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
No intimacy at all. Even 18 mos later when I tried to hug her, she'd shiver and cry uncontrollably. She refused any suggestions of therapy.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
2 years after the incident, we parted ways. We had been together for 3 years before that terrible night occurred.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I still reflect back to that night and the shit still hurts like hell.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
I wasn't there to save her from the pain and anguish. I wasn't there. I was out with the homies at a baseball game, drinking & smoking.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Of course there was no way for me to know an assailant would victimize her that night. But I still feel bad about it. I wasn't there........
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
My 26th birthday. A day I'll never forget. The pain I still hold in my heart. The love I had for someone who was sexually assaulted.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Life changed. I changed. I never let any woman I was dating walk to or from my home or theirs without escort or careful watch.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Yes, the perpetrator was eventually arrested & convicted. I started my story with the link to his sentence. https://t.co/KgQLEVo6Ia
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
The system took care of him. Justice right? I don't feel it. He ruined lives. Not just my girlfriend's life, but other women he raped.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
While I'm being transparent & 100% truthful. It wasn't just my girlfriend, it was my wife. Incident occurred a month after we got married.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Still very, very hard to digest. That incident wrecked our marriage. Sadly, there was no recovering from it.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Ok, got that off my chest. Again, thanks for listening.
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
Such first person accounts of how rape affects lives of survivors are extremely important, when victim shaming is being witnessed in rape cases and a devastating incident is discussed casually.
I often wonder if the men making foolish comments have actually been close to a woman who has been raped. Like, really understood the impact
— Angry Man (@AngryBlkManDC) August 16, 2016
