The incident of Congress MLA NA Haris’ son Mohammed Nalapad Haris’ goondaism has shocked all quarters. Nalapad surrendered to the police a day after he beat up a 24-year-old man at an upscale restaurant in the Garden City. In a previous incident, the former CM HD Kumaraswamy’s son Nikhil Gowda was caught chucking beer bottles and smashing up a city-based eatery after he was denied a meal by the hotel staff (late into the night). Nalapad’s father has been contrite and ashamed at his son’s behaviour, and had asked his son to surrender, which he did a day later. The anguished father was quoted as saying, “We are all equal before the law. If he has committed a mistake, he should be punished.”
Yet, there have been many instances where influential parents hide their child’s wrong doings, or try and cover it. Most parents do their best to bring up their children with good morals and ethics, but somewhere the tide turns against them, especially if they come from influential families. While placing the complete blame for such behaviour on parents and upbringing is not the way forward, when children display such anti-social and disruptive tendencies, what can put an end to such willful behaviour? Having respectable parents doesn’t always predict how a child turns out. Being a danger to society, taking the law into his own hands, and using clout to get their way, is surely not the way forward. We explore the thin line between power, responsibility and the misuse of both.
A parent instills the right values in a child, feels Manoj Bernard Noronah, an administrative officer, who has two sons, “As parents, we do not want our children to go on such a self-destructive path. But when a child goes on such a spree, I feel parents are the first to be blamed. But children live with other people, and societal influences too. Factors like friends, films, etc play a huge role and greatly influence their actions. Putting the blame only on parents is not fair, other factors also need to be kept in mind, especially their peers.”
Celebrity status is something such children tend to take forgranted, and if they come from influential families, they feel they are above the law. Cyber security professional R Sachin feels, “It’s not right to blame parents for a child’s action. The overall environment and peer group are strong influencers. I feel that children of celeb parents tend to think that they can get away with anything they do because they are backed by the parents’ status, money and power.”
Of course, the Internet, films and TV also have a huge effect on a child’s mind. Psychologist Sneha Jacob cautions, “We live in a world where parents do not spend time with their kids. Children used to have at least one parent at home before, which isn’t the case now. A large number come back home to a maid, spend hours with her, and then go to bed. Today, a child spends more time at school, watching TV or on the Internet. So it’s fair to say that schools and the overpowering media has a large and irrevocable influence on a child’s life. The messages sent out by schools and media are responsible for a child’s upbringing and actions too. You can’t blame the parent for a child’s lack of values, solely.”
Sociologist Dr R Rajesh believes many factors determine how a child behaves, “I feel that there are multiple issues. First, focusing on the parent, and second an individual’s perspective. Celebrity children are grown up individuals, and can decide how to behave. But they also tend to be influenced by a parent’s power and money. When such behaviour is caught, the teachers, parents or upbringing is blamed. Parents cannot be the only ones accountable, society should be too. When correctional methods are delayed, such matters are taken forgranted. No parent wants their child to follow a wrong path. The way films portray characters often gets repeated in society. When institutions take corrective action against such behaviour, then such incidents will stop.
