Rape survivor shares stage with attacker to dispel myths about sexual violence

The way rape is usually portrayed in the news and popular culture brings to mind certain scenarios like that of a woman being attacked by a stranger in a dark alley. But the question of what constitutes sexual violence and consent is unfortunately not properly understood by the larger society even to this day.

Throdis Elva who was sexually assaulted by her boyfriend Tom Stranger in 1996 – when they were both 16 years old – decided to deliver a joint TED talk along with him about what they both refer to as “the darkest moment of their lives”. At the time of the incident, Stranger was an Australian exchange student in Elva’s native Iceland and had taken her out as his date to a party one night. But he later forced himself on her after she was too drunk to fight off his advances.

Their TED talk focuses on the shame attached to sexual assault and the impact of the rape on their lives. Elva and Stranger have even co-authored a book titled South of Forgiveness about their experience.