Problem with all that’s quick and viral are, they die too soon. Every day is a new hash tag, a new issue you want to post about and win likes and comments for; a bit of activism done, you naively think. But then some words don’t end in that little space after the hash #. They grow, step out of the monitors and catch hold of you so strongly that you get away from your computer and begin to think, to do, to act and above all, to react.
This year was crowded with online campaigns, words shouted in loud caps lock, stars and ampersands and exclamation marks buzzing out the meaner ones. Most of it was forgotten a day or two later, but some refused to go away. Avalkoppam (With Her) walked into a computer screen and stayed, popping up in the real world, as discussions, a movie category, a placard of support. MeToo was one woman’s tweet, carried over by many, many, many other women across the world.
Many other campaigns ruled the social media — Jallikattu, GST, and TripleTalaq, among them. Screenwriter Deedi Damodaran tells us about Avalkoppam and poet Sowmya Vidyadhar about Me Too.
Why it is important to say ‘with her’
If you are looking at it in a very objective way, normally we don’t have anybody to stand with us. Women are usually seen in a group. It is not common to see a woman walking alone, swinging her hands. Even girl students are always in a company. But when an issue comes there will be no one with her. On the other hand, you can always see men walking alone, swinging hands freely. But when an issue comes, I don’t know from where, they come as a group to stand by one. Given this state of things, saying you are with her is definitely a statement. It should be held like a placard, written in bold letters. Avalkoppam is a sambavam (big deal).
I say this because I have experienced it in college. I have a fight with boys in the corridor and they would all stand together, but when I turn back, there would be no one with me. They would all be gone. Women appear to not want to be involved in ‘unnecessary problems’. So when a problem comes, saying I am with her, is not just a statement, but a political statement. Avalkoppam becoming a campaign is also a political statement. A woman had to go through so much at her work place (the actor assault incident in Kochi) and there was a lot of drama on the first day but after that she’s been alone. Everyone was standing together with the men. When a rape victim approaches the police, everyone from the constable to higher officials are going to stand with the man. There is not even a panel for her to complain in a field like cinema, that calls itself an industry.
That is when the statement Avalkoppam becomes important. We may have to pay a price for saying it but even then we will be with her — it is very important to say that. To sustain that hash tag is important. It is like the flag off of an initiative.
There is no need for the same people to run the marathon. We could feel the repercussions. It is not a movement that will die soon. It has started, and not finished pouring. You can see it in different forms. Kazhcha Film Society has now invited an all women crew to make a film. IFFK had a women oriented package, again called Avalkoppam. To be with her is important. That space for ‘aval’ is important. Aval has formed in a space where she was earlier invisible, and inaudible.
I am not saying this feeling so highly about being a part of it all – Avalkoppam and the Women in Cinema Collective. It is a conclusion, not a planned action. Time had demanded for it to be made. We were forced into a situation. Aval is yourself, you should be there for yourself and for her.
A huge eye opener for society
The #metoo campaign started with a single woman and in a matter of days every woman I know around me said me too.
MeToo wasn't meant to count the number of women or men who have been abused sexually. Rather it was meant to understand how many people living amidst us are capable of exploiting another human being. It was meant to ascertain what a violent society we live in. And it was appalling. Women after women came forward to say openly that they had been abused or harassed at least once in their lifetime. And it wasn't easy for them to admit it. Most of them were answerable to their families.
But like all other campaigns this too saw people who mocked it. Some of them thought that mere cat calling or teasing shouldn't be weighed against something as big as rape. In that case every woman we know of would be screaming me too. But look at the horror of the situation. In reality there has not been a single girl who has never been cat called or touched or groped without her permission. And that is terrifying. Women have been taken so for granted that it is okay if we have been only groped. Only touched. MeToo was indeed a huge eye opener for the society, men and women equally. Many of us realised the intensity of the situation hoping it would bring a positive change in the future if not immediately.
Mass rally
Avanodoppam (With him) became a hash tag put out by supporters of actor Dileep, accused in the actor abduction case, at the time his film Ramaleela, was released.
When UP Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath attacked Kerala for alleged politics of violence, Malayalis created the hashtag KnappanYogi to make fun of the BJP leader.
ForgiveMe and MeTooHarassedWomen came out from young men, apologising for the sexual offences — big and small - they have done to women at different points.
