Lifestyle Sex and Relationship 30 Jun 2019 Long term love mantr ...

Long term love mantra

DECCAN CHRONICLE. | SITARA SURESH NAIDU
Published Jun 30, 2019, 12:01 am IST
Updated Jun 30, 2019, 12:03 am IST
Bharati and Naresh Bhojwani.
 Bharati and Naresh Bhojwani.

Are you one of them who scrolls down posts on Instagram and bored of people saying #couplegoals while your spouse is snoring to glory?

Well, relationships can be tricky. After a few years, you tend to know almost everything about each other and boredom steps in. We speak to relationship experts who offer guidelines to help keep the spark alive in your love life.

Youngsters are turning to tarot readers for help with their relationship woes. Revathy Krishna Kumar who is an Angel Tarot reader points out, “Long-term relationship mainly tends to break because of a lack of time for intimacy and lack of physical presence. As girls get independent most of them think that by sharing responsibilities they are helping the relationship grow. This is absolutely false.”

With this rapidly growing economy and the cost of living rising, couples tend to get busy with their individual lives. In the bargain, they tend to take each other for granted. Revathy opines, “It is essential to prioritise family above work and couples must focus on their relationship. A surprise dinner, a movie night or a vacation will help revive your lost emotions. The key is to work on the relationship than give up.”

The only ways to spice up your relationship is to never forget to impress your spouse. Proving this right is Bharati N Bhojwani and Naresh H Bhojwani, who have been married for over 24 years. Bharati says, “The best part is that we’re good friends, we enjoy each other’s company. We pretty much do a lot of activities together like workouts, partying etc and we do not hide anything from each other. We also complement each other on a daily basis; we give a keen interest in dressing up well. It is essential to have an active sex life and it is the responsibility of both to make the relationship work. Initially when we had fights I’d give my husband the silent treatment and let it pile up. But later, I realised that the reason for my anger was  petty. So the key is to be open always.”

Sharing her views from a psychologist’s perspective is Aishwarya Honnavali, she says, “The only way the relationship can stay active and alive is if both people invest. A relationship is not permanent by default. It takes work to make it permanent. I think more than boredom, its more to do with routine. We fall into a routine and then we get comfortable. Once we get comfortable we don’t see the need to put in that extra effort. The most or at least one of the most important things is to never feel complacent. No relationship will survive if either party gets complacent and feels like effort is not required any more. Everyone likes to feel special and to make a relationship work, one must never compromise on that.”

Derick Mendas a software engineer and his girlfriend have been dating for for over eight years. “We pretty much grew up together. We still behave like kids, the factor that keeps us lively and excited is we appreciate each other. She does my laundry and cooks for me. I sometimes help her in the kitchen or even surprise her with my culinary skills. Everything was rosy during our college life but when we started living together we began to show the frustration caused by work on each other. We almost broke up but  quickly realised that a split was never an option. That’s when decided to consciously leave our work stress behind and use each other as a stress buster.”

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