Singles needn't have FOMO
Deccan Chronicle.| Twinkle Gurnani
Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate bonds with every loved one, including yourself
Instead of feeling bitter, lonely or left-out, experts advise that this week should be used to celebrate bonds with all the people one loves including ourself.
Valentine’s Day is not restricted to love between couples only, say relationship experts. It’s a day to celebrate bonds with every loved one, including yourself.
This is a week that celebrates romantic love. While for couples, it is all about positivity and a reinforcing of ties, negative emotions well up in singles, who react by flooding social media with anti-Valentine's Day posts and parodies of couples expressing love for each other. Some singles have even gone to the extent of signing petitions to have this Day scrapped!
Instead of feeling bitter, lonely or left-out, experts advise that this week should be used to celebrate bonds with all the people one loves — including ourself.
Certified life coach, author, leadership coach and founder of Life Management Academy, Dipankar Biswas says, "To practice love, we listen to our partners, thereby fulfilling their emotional needs. We forgive them when they make mistakes and show gratitude to them for the things that they do for us. When someone does all this for us, we feel loved. In most cases we look for this love outside. But we can give this very love to our own selves. Dress well, make time for your needs and close your eyes and listen to yourself wholeheartedly like you’d expect your lover to"
Go on a date with yourself
Saher Ali, holistic psychological counsellor, highlights one of many ‘must-do’ things for everyone this V-Day. "All love starts with self-love and everyone must do it regardless of their relationship status. Spend some time with yourself, imagine being on a date with yourself. Do the things you love by yourself," she suggests.
Advising singles on how to navigate their emotions during Valentine's week, she says, "Instead of feeling lonely, appreciate solitude. Enjoy your own company."
Love begins from self
‘Women of Excellence’ awardee, holistic wellness coach and co-founder of the School of Personal Excellence, Mallika Rao points out that if you go by the idea of Saint Valentine, the day is about the celebration of love. Therefore, it’s an ideal time for celebrating love in all forms. "The day is to celebrate with anyone you have a loving bond with, whether it is a friend or a family member," she says. Sharing an experience she says, "A client told me that he loves his wife but she often complains that he doesn’t love her. This is why practicing love and showing it to your near and dear ones with loving gestures is really important. Therefore, make a conscious effort to practice love on this day."
Mallika Rao also advises that one must fill oneself with self-love before exchanging love with others. She says, "The moment you start relying on others for getting love, you become a seeker and that's not a good place to be at. Just like the saying ‘charity begins from home’, love begins from self. Start with loving yourself so that you can give it to others."
Nothing wrong with PDA
Mumbai-based author, consultant psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr Anjali Chhabria, founder of Mindtemple Clinic, believes that couples should not curb expressions of love as the pandemic has taught us that life is short and we must live it to the fullest.
However she feels couples need not flaunt their love on social media. "They should be a little sensitive towards those who are single or may have lost their loved ones. And especially, do not make fun of people who are single."