Too close for comfort?
After it was reported that Chloe Moretz and Brooklyn Beckham called off their relationship, rumours emerged that the teen couple split because Chloe ended up being a little too clingy in the relationship. After dating on-and-off for two years, the couple had to put an end to it after her behaviour was putting a strain on the relationship.
While being needy in a relationship may stem out of a need to be loved, it can in fact, force your date or partner to run in the opposite direction. Life coaches say that letting go of this habit can impact the relationship positively. Life coach Chetna Mehrotra states a few tell-tale signs. She says, “Clingy behaviours include checking in on your partner even when they are busy. Even questioning your partner for not spending the whole day with you on weekends could be considered as clingy behaviour.”
Clingy behaviour often stems from trust issues or emotions such as insecurity, jealousy or anxiety. It is also possible that a clingy partner is deprived of happy relationships since childhood. “Hence they seek to make the most of what they have and eventually push the other person out with obsessive patterns. Identify these patterns,” adds Chetna.
One subtle way of putting across your point is to make time for friends. This can also encourage the partner to improve their social network. Going out with friends, joining a book club, or taking up a dance class are a few ways to divert the attention from the relationship.
It also helps to channelise these emotional needs by prioritising your own goals and interests. Relationship counsellor Nisha Khanna says, “It is important for such people to shift the focus on themselves as their world constantly revolves around their partner and they forget that they have a career, family and a social life to take care of. Making a clingy partner secure will help them become confident in the relationship. Encouraging them to invest their time in hobbies will help them manage their anxiety levels.”
“Talking is important in a relationship,” says life coach Priya Kumar, adding that accepting the problem and willing to work towards solving it is half the battle won. “If you work on things together, it’s more likely that you’ll be able to solve the problem at hand and become less clingy in a way that ends up strengthening your relationship. It’s always better to have a reasonable talk at the beginning of a relationship and set the limits. In fact, this could help strengthen the relationship.”