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Lifestyle Sex and Relationship 04 Jul 2019 Back to basics: Guid ...

Back to basics: Guide to rocking sex life

Published Jul 4, 2019, 4:51 pm IST
Updated Jul 4, 2019, 4:51 pm IST
Don’t try too hard, satisfying sex is not rocket science.
Be sensitive, be sensible, break the barrier – communicate. (Photo: Representational/Pexels)
 Be sensitive, be sensible, break the barrier – communicate. (Photo: Representational/Pexels)

If you have been thinking all this while how can you have a really good sex life, we have the answer to your query. Sex is not just an activity which leads to orgasm and you are done; you need to kick in that feel-good factor that makes you feel confident about yourself.

Try searching on Google, “How to have a good sex life”; “How to have good sex with your partner” and many more similar questions pop up, showing more than 1,120,000,000 results. It clearly indicates that so many people are searching for satisfying sex life – something that they are missing or want to make it raunchier.


As reported by Lelo.com, psychosexual therapists and sexologists always suggest couples ways and means of achieving better sex life through talk therapy. More than often people totally undermine the fact that communication is the key to better sex life. Communication and understanding go hand in hand and this is the key that will get your sex life sorted, for you to experience real bliss.

Communication helps us understand what your partner is expecting. It is important to communicate and understand and not work on the basis of assumptions. As humans we are critical and can be harsh on ourselves, making us think that we are not good enough. It is even more problematic when it comes to sex, especially if we see ourselves going round in circles.

There is a popular saying, which says that everything good in life and business is born out of great communication. Sex is no different. It is a deal between two individuals. Expecting it to be perfect without communication may sound too good to be true. There is no telepathy involved that will make your partner know about your likes and dislikes, your preferences and choices.

There is immense performance pressure involved when it comes to sex. There is a lot of shame and embarrassment involved therefore, hardly people discuss sexual preferences. Sex cannot be executed the way you plan it, you just go with the flow. True that! You just need to know how to enjoy it to the fullest.

Here are some helpful tips, which you can try at home and get your sex life rolling. Here is how you need to know how and when to initiate the conversation with your partner:

It is advisable if you spring the topic of sex outside your bedroom. Your sex life is work-in-progress and therefore, talking about sex after the act is an absolute no-no. Your partner might find that there is a concern and you are flagging it immediately after having sex.

If you are up for some experimentation, it is advisable that you put it out there explicitly for your partner to understand rather than vaguely saying that you want to have sex. Be clear about what you want.

Appreciation is the key. If you start with criticism, you tend to become defensive and this does not in any way encourage good sex. It is important to nurture relationships and therefore, it is important that you don’t embarrass the other person when talking about sex. Be sensitive, be sensible – break the barrier.

Experimenting, trying something new in your bedroom serves as a booster. The main passion killer is boredom, so try to keep the spark alive and keep it happening. However, what gets into the way of change is fear, ward it off with – communication.