As Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s divorce drama continues to escalate, friends and family are throwing their support behind each star. With the acrimonious separation getting nastier by the day, allegations of domestic abuse and blackmail now haunt the estranged couple. While supporting friends, who are going through a rough patch in a relationship is necessary, there are times when you must know where to draw the line, especially when there are common friends involved. Life coach Chetna Mehrotra feels that as friends, keeping the involvement to the minimum always helps, “It is natural that if you are close to someone, especially a couple, you would be compelled to not take sides, as you wouldn’t want to spoil your relations with either of them. The best thing would be to not delve deep into their personal issues and you will stay out of the mud. The deeper you dig, the dirtier it will get,” she adds.
An important thing is to never speak ill of the other person while speaking to them individually. (Photo: Pixabay)
While well-meaning friends would be trying to help, sometimes those words of comfort can make tempers flare, feels counselling psychotherapist and psychologist Dr. Kashissh Chhabriaa. “It is a very difficult situation, and the friend involved would actually be torn apart. Both the individuals undergoing separation are right from their own perspective. The intention to ‘help’ may backfire and you’d be labelled a disloyal friend, in turn, if you take sides. Leave it up to them and refrain from giving judgements in any form. If at all they ask for advice, say what you feel and mention that this is your way of thinking and has nothing to do with the friendship,” she explains.
As is the case with most friendships, there might be chances of them asking you for your support, and avoiding a comment may result in upsetting them. Chetna advises, “You can speak to both over the issue in a brief manner and give your opinion on getting things on track. You can ask them individually to go out for a drive or lunch or a movie with you, where they can be a little occupied with something else. One important thing is to never speak ill of the other person while speaking to them individually. Don’t tell a man that his choice was bad from the beginning, or a woman that you always knew this break up was inevitable. This is unethical and immoral, and practically, you never know when this may backfire,” she says.
Give them time, says life coach Manoj Lekhi, “The most important of all the things are give them time to sort things out in their own space and relationship. When one decides to take such steps for their relationship, it is their choice, their decisions and their consequences.”
