People who have demons in their minds want some utopia to run to, in order to escape their present. One of these ‘utopias’ is the fleeting haven of high they arrive at, with the help of uppers or the anti-anxiety pills they have ‘escaped to’. They create demons everywhere they go to, because it is inside them. The change has to come from within; you cannot change the world is the reality that has to sink in.
They can momentarily escape the many crossed wires hidden in crevices of the subconscious with mood elevators. Those memories that come up without even you knowing they existed — suppressed memories and experiences smothered over time that surface to your horror in stressful times or in your sleep. Pills definitely don’t help you deal with these layered issues. Instead they take you into a high, escaping these memories and maybe even work stress which will be right there when you come back from that place of ‘high’. Because after every high come the reality of a low. Ironically, these same pills that give you a wonderful buoyancy also give you a depressive low after and the low, when coupled with your own propensity toward anxiety, is a multiplied reaction. So then you take more pills to get rid of the down phase of these medications and it becomes a vicious cycle that you need more frequent and higher doses mood elevators to overcome the lows.
So what then is the way to overcome this extreme path that you’re way into now? How do you extract yourself from this metaphoric black hole? Let me tell you, this is not easy. You are probably now addicted like you would be to meth or heroine. You need professional counselling, you will need to heal at a rehab with a support system so that you don’t go down the path to lie in your quest to procure these pills you have begun to believe are the answer to all your life’s problems. Take your family into confidence because you need a support system.
On your personal front, once the realisation hits you internally you will want to help yourself. I’m told yoghurt and probiotics are a great help in terms of gut bacteria and helping to cure addictions. Fresh fruit juices, coconut water and all the things you grew up learning about detox will come into use now. Social interaction is an absolute must. Staying busy and mentally engaged will keep you less preoccupied with your habitual propensity to reach for pills. An occupation, a hobby, friends, staying away from triggers or people that excite you or disturb you is a great idea too — basically try to keep it cheerful for yourself. Exercise is a great mood elevator as is meeting friends and chatting about things. You will come to realise that you aren’t alone in life’s challenges. The best of people are bogged down with issues.
Make sure you bathe and dress up first thing in the morning and take some sun and fresh air. Staying neat and clean is an important part of recovering from anxiety and addiction to anti-anxiety pills. Self esteem is a very essential part of recovering and building back your life. You probably were so exhausted, sleepy and demotivated because of medication that you felt too tired and demotivated most of the time to engage your mind in fruitful pursuits.
Anguish, pain and anxiety are things most human beings encounter many times in their life. Please don’t feel shame and agony about it. Have the courage to face up and fess up to your friends and family and that is the beginning of the end of the black hole journey of anti depressants.
The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org...