Nagesh was worried that he might have impregnated his lady colleague. “Is there a way to terminate this?” he asked the doctor. “You see, I was seduced and could not resist,” he justified his behaviour.
Why do men have one-night stands?
Believe it or not, this is a major male sexual fantasy. A Men’s Health magazine survey indicates that the average male would prefer to have 18 sex partners in his lifetime!
Evolutionary Psychologists are of the opinion that there may be a genetic basis for this. According to them “men have an evolved desire to fool around.” In any long-standing monogamous relationship, sexual passion dies a natural death due to monotony. In such situations, a fresh person rekindles it. This sexual high, especially for the middle-aged, becomes an end in itself. The exhilaration is compounded by the thrill of novelty.
For both men and women, one-night stands may be ego boosters. Men may see it as a reward for career success and achievements while for middle-aged women, it could be a reaffirmation of their attractiveness.
The latent question is: “Will every man succumb to temptation when an opportunity arises?”
Anthropologist Helen Fischer in her book Anatomy of Love calls this ‘physiology of adultery.’ According to her, people respond differently to novelty. Some avoid it. The reasons quoted by the avoiders range from “I am married” and “It is morally wrong” to “I may contract a disease.” Others seek it out. She calls them “sensation seekers.” Psychiatric research has found low levels of Monoamine Oxidase, an enzyme in the brain, in sensation seekers.
Research has found, moreover, that one-night stands are more likely to occur when the man is under the influence of drugs or alcohol or when he is in an unhappy relationship or between a divorce and the next marriage.
On the whole, one-night stands are most likely to be injurious to a marriage because one of the founding pillars of the institution — Trust — is broken by
it. Whatever reconciliation is attempted can only be like mending a broken mirror.
My dear men, the best way to avoid this problem is to avoid the encounter itself.
