Navigating the digital frontier

Understanding the teenage psyche

During adolescence, teenagers embark on a journey of self-discovery, heavily influenced by peer interactions and the exploration of identity. Dr Gopukumar Kumarpillai from the Bengaluru Neuro Centre emphasises that technology serves as both a means of self-expression and social connection for teens. As parents, recognising these positive aspects while being mindful of potential pitfalls is key.

The power of empathetic parenting

“Empathetic parenting entails actively listening to teens without judgment and validating their experiences,” says Nupur Dwivedi Pandey, Counselling psychologist and Emotional Intelligence coach. This approach fosters trust and open communication. By acknowledging teenagers’ proficiency in technology and involving them in decision-making regarding its use, parents empower them to make responsible choices.

“While teens might look, talk and act like adults, their emotional brain is still developing, so treating them like adults is a bad idea. To parent teens, a good relationship since their early years is a must. Young children need freedom but with clear boundaries and limits and teens are no different,” adds Dr Diana Monteiro, founder-director, The Hyderabad Academy of Psychology.

Setting boundaries with compassion

While it may be tempting to impose strict restrictions on technology use, a more compassionate approach involves setting clear boundaries while allowing room for autonomy and exploration. “Taking away access to technology is always one way, but parents should exercise empathy,” advises Dr Gopukumar. Providing alternate engagements, such as sports or hobby classes, helps teens find balance and prevents technology from becoming their sole coping mechanism.
Dr Diana Monteiro explains, “High expectations and lots of warmth is always the best form of parenting. This means expect your teen to do well, behave appropriately while also giving them lots of love and affection that is not contingent on their performance.”

Educating and engaging

Nupur Dwivedi Pandey advocates for parents to educate teens about the cyber world and its implications, fostering informed decision-making. Additionally, embracing technology as a means of connection can bridge the generation gap and facilitate understanding between parents and teens.

Building trust through connection

“Know your teen’s friends, offline and online, and facilitate an environment that helps them to come to talk to you,” suggests Nupur. By actively engaging with their social circles, both online and offline, parents can cultivate trust and create opportunities for meaningful dialogue.

“Teens are exploring limits and will push yours, and your goal as a parent is to push back. Being strict is important but in a balanced way, where you constantly keep communication lines open. This allows your teen, when they are ready to talk, to know they can talk to you,” opines Dr Diana Monteiro.

Summing up

Parenting teenagers in the digital age requires a nuanced approach that blends empathy, guidance, and trust. By embracing technology while setting compassionate boundaries, parents can empower their teens to navigate the complexities of the digital world with confidence and resilience.

“Almost all family issues involving teens who come to therapy with me are about being able to talk to an adult like me who won’t judge them, criticise them or tell them what to do. They want to be listened to and understood and when they need guidance, they will only ask for it if they trust the adult fully,” concludes Dr Diana Monteiro.