Willpower can transform lives. Tracking a distant goal, overcoming an addiction or changing a bad habit or cultivating lifestyle change can all happen with strong willpower.
The problem is of course our need for instant gratification. The need which says, “I want the world and I want it now!” Postponing our needs can create a major change in our lives. Many years ago, in the 60s, psychologist Walter Mischel conducted the Marshmallow test on kids between the age of 3 and 5. The kids were given a marshmallow and left alone. They were told that those who could resist eating the marshmallow for ten minutes would receive two. Years later, those who waited and resisted temptation were found to be more intelligent, happier at home and generally more successful.
And later another interesting finding showed that self-control had a lot to do with the company we keep. Kids tended to have more self-control when they had role models who exhibited this important trait. The group impact on a child’s self-control makes the peer group extremely important. What is interesting is that adults also derive their capacity to resist temptation when they have buddies in a similar group where self-control is admired.
The company you keep is very important as your parents insisted. Birds of a feather flock together and so on. So the capacity to consistently follow a chosen path depends a lot on our friends. Social forces may help us ‘learn’ self-control. So don’t worry about your family tree or what you inherited. You can always choose your path by being with the people you admire.
The science of Neurolinguistic programming uses the power of role models to great effect. So choose to follow a person with courage and willpower. For that is where the path to success and achievement lies.
The writer is the author of Everyday Happiness Mantras.
HT09
