Obviously, a lot has changed in the last few months for him. Why else would he change his mind about giving an interview? Back then, he was not keen. One random interview before had brought too much attention, he felt. But then he realised it could help telling his story, about how he became a man called Vihaan Peethambar. The name is pretty known now and his pictures of walking the ramp for a fashion show have brought him new fans. “It was organised as a pre-pride show,” he talks about the queer pride event in Kochi last month. It was the first time there was a fashion show for transmen. And that’s the story Vihaan now has no qualms about sharing. Without questions, without prodding, he narrates it in perfect order, perhaps having told it a few times now. It is important, because even as society, Kerala especially, is becoming increasingly aware of the transgender community, it is mostly transwomen people see and hear about. Few stories of transmen come out.
“That’s because it is easier for us to pass off as cisgendered men, while transwomen walking in a group do not have it so easy. Fearing similar harassment, transmen do not come out to face all the stigma,” he says. Not that it has been an easy journey for Vihaan, despite the privileges he had — of having a good education, of having an understanding mother. He didn’t even realise what his problem was for a long time. He had just been continuously depressed no matter how everything else in life had seemed right. It didn’t matter much as a child. He just did what most boys his age did. Unlike his two sisters, he didn't enjoy playing with dolls. “They would play house and make me the dog, tie me up. But I didn’t mind because I love animals,” Vihaan laughs.
Vihaan Peethambar
It is when he hit puberty that the frustrations began. The body went through changes he didn’t want. “I asked my mom if she could stop it. And then I realised it is for life.” By then Vihaan, who grew up in Dubai, had come to Kerala. When his mom – Geetha – realised her child was still being a tomboy, she put Vihaan in a girls college – St Teresa’s. Vihaan, in his days there, became active in sports, music and in the college union, went around with masculine shoulders and male mannerisms. He realised he was attracted to girls. “I still didn’t understand my problem. So I tried everything to live as a girl. My friend would wait where I parked my bike in the morning and put makeup on my face. I grew my hair long. But I loathed every man who approached me. I pushed away men who tried to get physically close to me. After my PG got over, I put up a profile for myself in Kerala matrimony and started talking to a nice man from Qatar. I realised he was falling for me. But I just didn’t have feelings for him. If I couldn’t fall for him, I couldn’t fall for any other guy,” he explains.
The depression got worse. It turned into suicide attempts. When his mom asked what the problem was, Vihaan would merely mention that he is not a girl and cannot ever be. Hearing it, she said, we will deal with it. But she didn’t know how. Taking Vihaan to doctors and astrologers only brought humiliating experiences. So they waited for both his sisters to get married and then do the sex-change surgery. By then Vihaan had worked for a few years in a media firm in Dubai. He decided to come back to Kerala hearing about the transgender policy of the government. He was clear about this. He wanted to be known as a man, not a transman. When he went to the Gazette office to change the gender, there was no column for it in the application. He was asked to write his request and produce proof from a government medical board. “The Supreme Court’s NALSA judgement of 2014, on transgender recognition and rights, clearly says you only need a psychology test as proof to apply for gender change. It is not mandatory to go through a surgery,” he explains.
The only way out was approaching the Social Justice Department, but while they were sympathetic, they couldn’t do anything without the formation of a Transgender Justice Board. There was no telling how long that would take. So Vihaan shuttled between three government hospitals to get certificates of mostly-transphobic doctors, the Gazette office and Social Justice Department many times before finally getting the gender certificate in May that officially declares his gender as male. Soon a documentary was made by a television channel for ‘Vihaan’s first Onam’. And that brought him queries from kindred souls from different parts of the world, including countries like Malaysia and the UK, asking him for advice in their journey. So that’s what Vihaan is doing now. Helping out others like him. Directing them to trans-friendly people and officials like the District Medical Officer at Kottayam. He is now a board member of Queerala, an organisation that works for the LGBTIQ community in Kerala, and of the Ernakulam Transgender Justice Board. He is attending job interviews at companies that are inclusive and have LGBT policies and has a girlfriend who is also active in the LGBT advocacy space. Life is finally good for Vihaan and he hopes to take that goodness around to everyone he can.
