Succession, the most recent TV show from HBO to cause a global hubbub, has given its viewers much food for thought. More specifically, it has highlighted the negative consequences of being part of a wealthy/famous/powerful family. When media mogul and patriarch Logan Roy suffers a stroke on his eightieth birthday in the first season of the show, it sparks an ugly fight among his children to determine who will take his place. What ensues are four seasons of unabashed jealousy, unbridled anger issues, unhealthy competition, comparison among siblings, a nasty show of one-upmanship and more toxic behaviour.
This storyline, though fictionalised, rings true in many scenarios involving powerful families. City of Dreams is another such example.
Closer home, the most recent family fight is that of Sharad Pawar vs nephew Ajit Pawar. The former, 83 years old, considered one of India’s most astute political leader was upstaged by none other than his own nephew!
Andhra Pradesh CM Jagan Mohan Reddy — son of late YS Rajashekar Reddy who was the chief minister of Andhra Pradesh and also served as a Congress MP for decades — and his sister Sharmila have moved apart too. She is seeking to establish her political legacy in Telangana.
In buisness families it’s no different. It recently played out in the family feud following the death of industrialist patriarch SP Hinduja, with his siblings and daughter fighting over a $14 billion empire. The Ambani brothers parted ways after their father’s demise, dividing their assets and charting independent business paths.
Familial spats aren’t always restricted to siblings – they also frequently take place between parents and children. A case in point is the fight between former IPL chairman Lalit Modi and his mother Bina. On a similar vein, who can forget Prince Harry’s ceremonious breaking away from the royal family of Britain and writing a tell-all now infamous autobiography called Spare? Going just by the title of the book, one feels that Harry’s gripe is simply that he was born the second child in a privileged family.
In the competitive world we live in, there can be only one person on top of the pyramid.
Heirs to immense wealth must fight to obtain their own piece of the pie. As a result, they often develop unhealthy traits such as long-term resentment, childhood trauma, emotional weaknesses, and toxic behaviour.
Animosity within family
Dr. Preeti Singh, Chief Medical Officer at Lissun, Sr. Consultant Clinical Psychology who often sees clients from ultra high net worth families, highlights the insecurity about one’s financial position as the biggest reason for this. Younger siblings or children are often kept out of major business decisions. This lack of knowledge makes them worry about their inability to handle business setbacks, and the resultant loss of status. “When things suddenly go wrong, it’s a shocker for everyone. Mostly, in high profile families, communication and emotional expression are inadequate. Further, after losing their status, they find it difficult to adjust to a new lifestyle, as there is a lot of shame associated with it socially.”
The problem often begins in childhood, when busy parents are unable to spend time in the holistic nurturing of their children. Often guided by their own highly competitive and driven nature, they inculcate similar traits in their children, playing the strengths of one against the other in the process. This is perhaps why it is often younger siblings who harbour great resentment against the older ones, seeing them as potential threats as they seem closer to the family’s head. Hence, Dr Singh cautions, “Comparisons of all sorts should be avoided. Communicate with transparency. This helps in reducing any shame and allows you to stay away from taking impulsive decisions that may harm you and your family in the long run.”
Sushree Sahu, Executive Director and Head of Psychology and Psychotherapy at the mental health start-up Humanising Lives, echoes these sentiments. When asked what one can do if they find themselves in this situation, she shares this advice: “If you experience jealousy to an extent that you start losing sleep or harming yourself as a result, your issue needs attention. It is best to visit a professional to understand the genesis of your emotions, and if they have the potential to make your current lifestyle unhealthy.”
The way forward...
One wonders if there is any real solution to this toxic behaviour. It would perhaps depend on the intention of the person and how committed they are to resolving their issues. Harry may have tried to hit below the belt with his book and Netflix show. Yet, interestingly, King Charles III and Prince William chose to take the high route by refusing to comment on his story. It may be argued that Harry now truly looks the ‘spare’ in public. The Hindujas too have rallied together in the wake of the death of their senior-most family member, and even the Ambanis act civil towards each other in public. Whatever they may feel inwardly, these real-life business behemoths certainly know the value of public appearance.
(Noor Anand Chawla pens lifestyle articles for various publications)
