Best Newsmaker Of The Year:
Two-year-old Taimur Ali Khan is most deserving of this award because he already knows all the paparazzi tricks and even waves at them to make them feel special. We now hear his parents Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor Khan plan to improve their media skills by following Taimur’s modus operandi. But we still think there’s no beating baby Taimur’s PR skills.
Best Fashion Icon Of The Year (Female):
No, not you Sonam; it’s Shahid and Mira’s daughter Misha Kapoor, who effortlessly dresses right for every occasion. A fashionista who can’t even spell the word, how much more unselfconscious can trendy dressing get?
Best Actor Of The Year:
Ranveer Singh, not for Padmaavat or Simmba, but for keeping a straight face every time he was asked about his relationship status with Deepika Padukone before they were married. For someone as naturally exuberant as Ranveer, not letting the world know about his ladylove must have required all his acting skills.
Best Prop Of The Year:
It’s a tie between Aamir’s nose-ring and Anupam Kher’s Sikh turban. Both served the same purpose, they diverted our attention from what deserved it. In other news, we hear that Anupam, will be playing Narendra Modi next. Manmohan Singh may break the mahurat coconut for the film. The road to political salvation is never easy.
Best Wedding of The Year:
Kapil Sharma and Ginni Charath got married in Amritsar and not in Mumbai, thereby avoiding unwanted gifts from the Bollywood fraternity.
Of course there is the other theory that Kapil was too heartbroken by Deepika Padukone’s wedding to marry in the city she lives in.
The third theory for the Amritsar wedding is the most convincing — that the best chole-bhature is served in Amritsar and not Mumbai!
The Professional Of The Year:
The darzi. Two surprise successes Stree and Sui Dhaaga had their protagonists, Rajkummar Rao and Varun Dhawan, play tailors. Rumours that Salman Khan wants to play a darzi in his next film are absolutely not true. His roles are tailor-made anyway.
Best Fashion Icon of The year (Male):
Karan Johar, because he’s better than Ranveer Singh and Diljit Dosanjh when it comes to sporting weirdly wonderful outfits. Whatever Karan buys, Ranveer and Dosanjh order in a dozen colours. However, the two cannot replicate KJo’s shoes. No one knows where he buys his blingy boots from but a little birdie tells us the fancy shoes are custom-made in Karol Bagh.
Best Thug Of The Year:
Aamir Khan, of course. He fooled us into believing Thugs Of Hindostan would be an entertaining epic. The joke’s on us.
Best Hug Of The Year:
Nothing can beat Rahul Gandhi’s spontaneous cuddling of Prime Minister Modi in parliament. However, Deepika and Katrina hugging at the former’s wedding reception came a close second. The two might be Ranbir Kapoor’s exes but we’d like to believe that sautans can be friends, even after Saawan Kumar Tak stopped glorifying them in his movies.