Mumbai: Bollywood is place of toxic relationships and some really dark chapters in people's lives living in the spotlight. Model and actor Saloni Chopra recently talked about a shocking incident in her life that took place almost 4 years to come out in open.
Saloni Chopra’s blog on Instagram garnered lot of attention in the social media space. In the blog Chopra didn’t really name anyone but it has references of a toxic relationship, terrible physical assault episodes, slut shaming, and an abusive partner.
According to a report in Desimartini, Saloni Chopra was in a relationship with Zain Khan Durrani who made his acting debut in Bollywood with acclaimed director Onir’s indie film 'Kuchh Bheege Alfaaz'. Durrani who otherwise pretends a calm personality has a completely different side to him and it was during the course of their relationship that violent streak in him showed.
#Part1 I am not scared. I am not scared to tell you that this journey hasn’t been an easy one. But it’s mine to learn from and I am so, so proud of it. I am not scared to say that all throughout my childhood, I had alopecia. I grew up with patches & reptile skin and one day decided that the hair on my head wasn’t going to control how I live my life. My ichthyosis wasn’t going to decide if my skin was pretty. I am not scared to say that I was indeed a lonely child. I preferred writing more than talking to people, and that hasn’t changed. I am not scared to admit that I used to wish I was prettier, taller, thinner. I am not scared to admit that on some bad days, I still do. I am not scared to finally accept that being physically abused, was not my fault. I was an 8 year old child — and for the world that we live in to make me feel like I shouldn’t talk about it because ‘what will people say’ saddens me. Yes, Society finds that highly confronting and doesn’t understand why I would want to embarrass myself publicly, and yes, the people I love will call me & say ‘but what’s the need to tell the whole world about this?’… and for every why, I say why not? You shouldn’t have to hide it out of fear of being judged. Nor should it define the rest of who you are. I am not scared to admit that it took me 25 years to realise that. Until I was 24, I was oblivious to ‘women’s rights’ and ‘feminism’. I am regretful that it took me so many years to realise what mattered to me the most, but scared, I am not. All through my teenage years, I had a fairly confortable life with a few damaging factors and women’s rights wasn’t even an issue I’d considered existing. Lost in my own self-sympathising bubble — I lived quite comfortably. Until one day when I moved to India — and my life changed. Forever . . . . . . . Link to complete blog in my bio. #ScaredNoMore #BetheChange #wordporn #foodforthought #women #girls #speakup #educate #awareness #childabuse #equality #feminism #photoseries #loveyourself #whatsyourstory #Writersofig #writersofinstagram Photo @amitagarwalphotography
Saloni mentioned in her blog post that she has been in ‘some really terrible relationships’ and that they made her a stronger person.
#Part2 I am not scared to tell you that depression is real. I’ve lived it day in and day out. I have worked on making myself healthier, and yet there are always going to be some bad days. You will occassionally find something that triggers you and your world will come crashing down. It’s okay. It doesn’t make you crazy or unloveable. It just means you feel more than other people do. Just remember that there’s a dark scary place in there where your depression meets your desire to give up which eventually feels like the most comfortable place in the world, and that comfort zone — it destroys every little piece of you. Step out of it. If handled with care, the sensitivity with which you feel can become your strength and not your weakness. . . . . . . . I am not scared to tell you that when I was 19, I considered converting to Islam for a boy I loved — not out of love, nor out of a belief in God, but purely because I wanted to feel loved and was being rejected for who I am. But when his mother told him ‘why don’t you convert her and then dump her so that there are more muslims in this world’ I realised… that I didn’t want this person in my life. It was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I am not scared to tell you that I don’t believe in religion — to me, there are people that do good deeds and bad deeds. And everyone is capable of either. I judge people by their acts and not from the religion in which they come from. I am not scared to say that though I stay away from religion and politics, I also think that just like marriage, sex, alcohol consumption and driving — religion too should come with an age limit. Half of my world wants to kill the other half because of their belief in their God and if we could teach kids humanity before teaching them to divide, wouldn’t that be something? . . . . . . . Link in bio #scarednomore #women #girls #bethechange #humanity #depression #love #wordporn #foodforthought #girls #educate #awareness #speakup #mystory #religion #feminism #mentalhealth @amitagarwalphotography
With such unfortunate events in her life, Saloni used to really struggle with not knowing how to address what was going happening.
#Part3 I am not scared to tell you that I have been in some really terrible relationships. And though it made me a stronger person, I woudn’t wish that upon any of you. But the irony is — most women reading this are living in such relationships themselves. I am not scared to admit that I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship where I let him make me feel like it was all my fault. He convinced me that he was the victim, & I, the reason behind his anger. I, the reason behind the bruises. I woke up every day wondering what I could do differently to not make him hate me — to not hurt his male ego — to believe that the pain sprung from a place of Love — & why not? We’ve been taught all our lives that when our parents hit us, they’re doing it out of love — so when a man came as my partner & raised his hands, then gave it the name of love — I believe him. Every one I knew thought he was amazing to me, which he was publicly, he cared too much about how people saw him, so much that even I believed him with his charm & his poetry. I distanced away from everyone that loved me & lived in my own little bubble where no one had to know who he really was. I called it Love. Love, where he cheated, & ill-treated me, & came home to tell me my bra strap was showing & his parents would never accept me. I wonder if his mother knows how quickly he raises his hands on the women he claims to love? I wonder, if his elaborated poetry still stinks of his weak heart & his lies. And often when I see him with another girl, I wonder if she calls it love too… When I finally left him, is when I really truly started writing about self love & acceptance. About women. About speaking up for your self. I am not scared to tell you that my toxic relationship made me realise that if a girl like me, independent, educated, raised in Australia could one day fall into a trap where I was led to believe that his insecurities were my fault, then how the hell could any girl raised in this country not do the same thing? . . . . . . Link in my bio #scarednomore #feminism #writersofinstagram #females #speakup #writersofig #physicalabuse #emotionalabuse #women #girls #educate #awareness #india
Saloni mentioned that she eventually broke up with Zain because during one Halloween party he pushed her against the wall in front of her brother.
#Part4 Raised in a society where where culture & tradition are excuses to steal her rights — to slut shame her for having breasts, having her own desires. I met girls every day that had been slapped or bruised by their boyfriends/husbands & they called it ‘love’. Slapped for having put up a photo. Bruised for talking to another man. For asking him questions. ‘He didn’t mean it’ she’d say. ‘he has an anger problem’… ‘I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that’… ‘he only wants what’s best for me’… ‘at least he lets me work’… ‘he loves me too much’. It killed me. These stories. Women every day, everywhere I went, had been in an abusive relationship and they didn’t seem to see what was wrong with it. The saddest was when I’d meet a girl who was still in one… because she thought she could fix him. ‘It’s nothing! I can handle it. He — needs me.’ It broke my heart. I had to do something… I needed to remind these beautiful, wonderful, independent, talented women capable of absorbing the ocean that this — wasn’t love. Waking up with a bruise because he was drunk is not love. Being slapped for flirting or drinking with your friends is not love. Being abused for wearing a skirt, is not love. I am not scared to tell you that thanks to this guy, I found my calling. I found what it is that I cared about the most and I’ve never looked back since. . . . . . . I am not scared to tell you that it will be just as hard as this to speak up for yourself, if not harder. . . . . . . #bethechange #scarednomore #speakup #awareness #emotionalabuse #physicalabuse #females #writersofig #writersofinstagram #girls #feminism #education #india #femalebody #slutshaming #womenempowerment
According to the same report, Saloni further said, “I just had a word with Onir about this and he said that he would like to help, but then I refused to take names. Later on I got to know about another girl who he was dating and she was facing the same plight."
#Part5 I am not scared to fight for the right to put my mother’s name on all my legal documents instead of my father’s. She raised me, and I will owe this to her for the rest of my life. I refuse to accept that our legal documents everywhere ask for the father’s name and leave no space for the woman that gave birth and raised me. I am not scared to tell you that we live in such a fucked up society that half the boys I liked said their parents wouldn’t approve of me because I have divorced parents, or because I wear shorts — I’m not the first girl that it’s happened to — it’s them that should be a shame to society, not you. I am not scared to admit that though I love my family to bits and pieces, and they’re my pillars of strength — we still fight about my posts regularly. It’s not always as easy as it looks. I am not always receiving messages being told how proud they all are of me. On some days there are tears and complaints and an entire afternoon spent justifying why I do what I do. Other days, we don’t talk to each other. There’s disappointment and there’s hurt — as there is in any family. My mother isn’t always a proud mother when she see’s me in a bra and sometimes she has to take shit from relatives that have never been of any good except for creating chaos and chatter from the outside. Other days, what I stand for goes against what she believes in and how she was raised — and that’s OK. I need you to understand that it’s never going to be perfect. If it were that easy, then I wouldnt need to fight for it, would I? I am grateful that in my little family, we don’t ever talk about disowning each other or forcing our views on one another. We don’t end relationships. We argue, and we fight. We often take time off. Sometimes we can be hurtful too… but in the end, regardless of what I do with my life, I know my mother will fight for my right till her last breath — because that… is what Love is. Love is not imposing on each other. Love isn’t always agreeing either, Love is when you can disagree with the people you care about and still fight for their freedom of speech . . . . . #mothersday #women #females #family #love #scarednomore #mother #bethechange
As per the report, Zain refused to utter a single word about the whole episode and chose to stay away from it.
Recently, the physical assault case of Bollywood actor Armaan Kohli came in the light as his girlfriend Neeru Randhawa filed a police complaint against the actor....