Trapped In A Situationship
From romantic limbos to emotional manipulation, modern daters are confronting the blurry lines of commitment-free intimacy and the damage it leaves behind
In a time when commitment is often seen as optional and ambiguity is dressed up as empowerment, more people are finding themselves in a romantic grey zone, not quite a relationship, not quite a fling. It’s called a ‘SITUATIONSHIP.’ And while it might sound like a description for an undefined connection, for many, it’s anything but harmless.
Situationships are now commonplace among Gen Z and younger millennials. But there is a growing concern: Are situationships just a product of modern love — or are they a subtle form of emotional manipulation?
A Tough Situation
A situationship is often more than friendship, but less than a committed romantic relationship. It lacks clarity, labels, and boundaries. It may seem casual and mutually agreeable, but many discover a complex emotional ecosystem where one person may invest more emotionally, mentally, or physically while the other evades responsibility, commitment, or even honesty. “I’ve been in one, I really liked this person but he did not want to label our relationship,” says Naomi Sengupta (21) from Delhi. “We did everything we would in a relationship, he sent me sweets, and flew to my city to visit me. However, he insisted that we would not call this a relationship. I found myself powerless and vulnerable.” Naomi says.
While not all situationships are inherently toxic, they can become emotionally exploitative when they involve unclear expectations, intentional ambiguity, or one-sided emotional labour. Dr. Keerthic Sree-vathsow, a Senior Consultant Psy-chiatrist based in Mumbai says, “Psychologically, situationships can become a source of stress, especially when there’s a mismatch between partners regarding boundaries or levels of commitment. This confusion breeds ambiguity, which can provoke anxiety.”
Situationships can absolutely be a form of manipulation especially when someone avoids commitment at the expense of the other person. Ruki Narsing, an artist, says that sometimes it’s unintentional. “People are just lost or unsure of what to do next.”
Toxic Turmoil
The emotional toll is invisible but deeply felt. A 20-year-old from Mumbai who has been in multiple situationships describes them as ‘a weird limbo between what could be and what is.” “There’s no accountability. Someone can just say ‘I need space’ and avoid the conversation entirely. You end up caring deeply for someone with zero obligation from either side. It lacks trust and accountability,” she rues. Situa-tionships are often misused. They can create false hopes and leave you in psychological unrest. Feelings such as anxiety, restlessness, and insecurity are a common part of the process.
Dr. Sreevathsow notes that the lack of boundaries in these dynamics can blur the lines between casual dating and emotional manipulation. He says, “In a healthy casual relationship, there are clearly defined boundaries rooted in mutual respect. But in a manipulative dynamic, one partner often dominates or disregards the other’s perspective. These relationships exploit psychological vulnerability.”
Aliyah Verma, a counsellor says that emotional manipulation is the one factor present in all abusive relationships. She explains, “If one person in a relationship wields all the power be it emotional, financial, or physical it can become the root cause of manipulation in situationships. You would not do that to somebody who you would respect and hold in higher regard, that is when it can become toxic.”
A Vicious Cycle
The consequences aren’t just theoretical, Anandini Vats, an undergrad from Delhi was trapped in two situationships and feels she was stuck in cycles of insecurity and emotional lows. Anandini eventually ended both, calling the ambiguity, "manipulation” no doubt.
Dr. Sreevathsow offers clinical red flags he says, “Consider ending
a situationship if you feel taken for granted, if there are erratic or unreasonable demands, or if you experience any form of financial exploitation, emotional abuse, repeated disrespect, or unacceptable behaviour. Ignoring these can have serious consequences for your mental health.”
Reflecting on her three-year situationship, Dion Mishima, an arts student says, “There are only two roles in a situationship: one person sacrifices their self-worth, and the other lacks integrity.”
Experts agree that emotional clarity is critical and that commitment isn't the only barometer for a healthy relationship. Aliyah adds, “You should end a situationship when you feel like ending an actual relationship, feelings of perpetual anxiety, worthlessness, and constantly getting trampled over should give people enough signs to end it. When you cannot focus on anything apart from your relationship, that is when you should start weighing your pros and cons of staying in one.”
With dating apps encouraging endless choice and modern life fuelling emotional burnout, it’s no surprise that commitment feels optional while intimacy is still expected. As society continues to redefine relationships in an era of fast swipes and slow replies, one truth remains clear: ambiguity may offer temporary comfort, but it’s clarity that brings peace.