Pleasure of climax

Why this hype about sex and orgasm?” wondered Divya. In the three years of her married life she had never experienced any pleasure and she was beginning to think that orgasms were nothing but a myth.

An orgasm is an experience of heightened sexual ecstasy at the peak of sexual excitement, accompanied by rhythmic vaginal contractions in women and penile contractions, usually accompanied by ejaculation, in men, followed by total body relaxation in both.

However, physical factors like problems of the nervous system, hormone imbalance, certain medications, including psychiatric and cardiac medicines, drug abuse, alcoholism, myopathy, neuropathy, etc. can deprive a person of orgasmic pleasure

Similarly, psychological factors like negative experiences during childhood, anxiety, guilt, depression, marital discord, belief in myths, ignorance, sexual problems of the male partner etc. also can prevent orgasms.

Unlike for men, an orgasm doesn’t seem to be a universal requirement for successful intercourse among women, although of course this varies tremendously from woman to woman. Also, orgasm is an extremely varied experience. If and when it does happen it can be different even in the same woman.

As per surveys, 75% of men report having orgasms during sexual intercourse, but among women, the figure is only 30%. Women reach orgasm more reliably from masturbation than from coitus. This is because the clitoris is not directly stimulated in vaginal intercourse. Adequate clitoral stimulation occurs only in the ‘woman on top’ position and not in the usual missionary posture.

It has been shown that sex therapy can be particularly useful for men and women who are experiencing difficulties with orgasm.

Useful Tips:

· Indulge in more foreplay

· Let yourself go

· Don’t be over-anxious to reach orgasm

· If on medications, request your doctor to change the medicines

· Maintain a good marital relationship

· Realise that the journey is as important as the destination

The writer is a sexologist. Mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com