Love In The Time Of Digital Dowry

Weddings involve extensive financial planning. Previously, women were sent off with gold bangles and silk sarees. However, times have changed, and the discreet exchange of envelopes has now gone digital with monthly and quarterly payments.

The rise of digital lending platforms, BNPL schemes, and instant UPI credit has made aspirational lifestyles accessible to young Indians. But it also ties romance to a spreadsheet of repayments.

“It’s a new love language,” says fintech consultant Rajiv Menon. “Earlier, couples would exchange family horoscopes; now, they discuss CIBIL scores and repayment capacity.\

Debt is becoming part of the romance package.”

Today, it’s often intangible: EMIs on an iPhone for a partner, a couple’s home loan, or a honeymoon booked on credit; these are just a few examples of “digital dowry” forms. It reflects aspirational living — rings, vacations, designer outfits — all bought on credit. Instead of dowry being paid to the groom’s family, couples themselves willingly take on financial liabilities as proof of commitment.

Risky Romance

However, love on EMI is like boiling milk left unattended on the gas. In Bengaluru, software engineer Karan Singh recalls how his honeymoon loan turned into a nightmare. “We took a ?5 lakh loan for Europe, thinking we’d manage the EMIs together. But within a year, our marriage faced challenges. She moved abroad, and I was left paying off a trip that was supposed to celebrate our love.”

Such cases highlight the darker side of digital dowry. Unlike traditional dowry, fintech-driven debt falls squarely on individuals. Breakups, divorces, or job losses can quickly trans-form romantic gestures into financial traps.

Love and Loans

While the digital shift is empowering in many ways, it can also trigger unwanted misunderstandings and fights that could lead to either a stronger marriage or a broken one. According to Razorpay’s 2024 consumer report, transactions tagged under “wedding” rose by 35% in the past two years, with BNPL options accounting for nearly 20% of payments in urban centres.

Platforms like ZestMoney and Simple openly promote wedding purchases on EMI. Credit card companies offer “couple cards,” allowing partners to share expenses and build joint credit histories. Matrimonial apps are even experimenting with features that let users showcase financial compatibility — credit scores, salary brackets, and spending habits — alongside traditional biodata.

Elizabeth Mathew, who refused to be treated like a cash cow, says that she had good suitors in the 90’s. “But they asked for too much (dowry) from my father. I felt… I would rather live alone than sell myself off to a man whom I barely know,” she says.

Pending EMIs, credit card loans, and student loans are examples of how couples are choosing their own lives with their partners. Everything is up for discussion, and nothing is too “private” to do so. In fact, many Gen-Zers believe that being transparent from the start about family, loans, and ambitions is necessary to be discussed before marriage, so that there are no nasty surprises later. “Don’t just ask about career plans and family expectations,” says Menon. “Ask: how do you spend, save, and borrow? A credit history can reveal as much about compatibility as a horoscope.”

The UPI Weddings

Wedding customs are also becoming more digital. Rather than using envelopes, priests now accept dakshina through QR codes, wedding planners bill in instalments, and guests give cash gifts via UPI transfers. With apps like Wedding Wishlist and WedMeGood incorporating EMI options for décor, photography, and even sangeet choreographers, the "UPI wedding economy" is flourishing.

“It’s not enough to have a wedding; it must be Instagram-worthy. Couples don’t want to wait years to save. The EMI makes luxury immediate, even if the cost lingers for years,” says matchmaker Leena Lobo, based in Mumbai.

Indeed, social media intensifies this cycle. The glittering honeymoon posts or diamond ring selfies rarely reveal the credit slips behind them. As one Insta-gram caption joked: ‘Love you forever… or until the loan tenure ends.’

Love In The Ledger

Young Indians, often first-generation earners in urban centres, are more comfortable with debt than their parents. Love, like everything else, has become part of the credit economy. At one level, this democratizes romance. Middle-class couples can access luxuries once reserved for the elite. At another, it risks chaining young people to a lifetime of repayments.

Modern love may not come in gold-laden trunks, but it does arrive with monthly alerts — “EMI debited,” “Payment due.” The dowry system may have legally ended, but its digital cousin thrives, reshaped by fintech. Whether it binds couples closer or weighs them down depends less on algorithms and more on honesty, financial literacy, and shared priorities.

Because in the age of UPI and EMIs, perhaps the most radical vow a couple can make is this: to love without borrowing.

The Cost Of Romance

• Paying EMIs on an iPhone bought for a partner

• Paying instalments of a couple’s home loan, or a honeymoon booked on credit, are just a few examples of “digital dowry” forms

• Making payments of pending EMIs, credit card loans, and student loans are examples of how couples are choosing their own lives with their partners

• Wedding priests now accept dakshina through QR codes

• Wedding planners bill in instalments, and guests give cash gifts via UPI transfers.