Shobhaa De | Is Dubai Dream Over for Desis As War Drums Roll?

“Oh! What a Lovely War” -- remember the movie? It was a “war musical” described as an epic black comedy and directed by the legendary Richard Attenborough, featuring a stellar cast, which included Maggie Smith, Dirk Bogard, John Gielgud and several other greats. It was based on a successful stage musical, and provided a strong, satirical critique on the conduct of war in which the Americans arrive as a “disconnected reality”. The movie ends with a telling shot of a giant cemetery with innumerable soldiers’ graves. Fifty-seven years later, it’s an equally powerful reminder about the futility of war -- a chilling déjà vu moment for the astonished world, as fireworks of the lethal kind lit up the skies all over Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain and Teheran, while Donald Trump, the President of the United States (a man often described as a “lunatic” by critics), boasts: “I got Khamenei before he got me!” Jaws dropped. But then silence prevailed.

Donald Trump further claimed that after “solving” eight wars, he had initiated a ninth, in a region that has been on the boil for decades. Mr Trump insisted he had “specific, classified information” about an assassination attempt (targeting him) on American soil. “They tried twice… I got him first,” he bragged, like it was a Cowboys versus Injuns game being played in the schoolyard by a bunch of hyper-active brats.

All I know, sitting here in Mumbai, is that my relationship with traffic lights has changed forever. Ever since I read about the meticulous strategy behind the US-Israeli plan to eliminate Ayatollah Khamenei, Iran’s most powerful leader, I have started suspecting every streetlight in the neighbourhood. According to a Financial Times report, Israel spent years hacking Tehran’s traffic cameras to monitor the movement of Khamenei, his family and his security detail. It was this crucial information that resulted in a targeted strike last Saturday. It was quite disturbing to read the words of an Israeli intelligence officer who stated: “We knew Tehran like we know Jerusalem.” It’s possible that we, in India, are pretty close to possessing similar sophisticated technology that can pinpoint the “pattern of life” of potential targets and ordinary citizens. Combine that with access to mobile phone networks, and you know just how vulnerable we are. Our streets are also monitored 24X7… Traffic cameras watch every pedestrian and vehicle. Yes, it is for our “safety”. But, but, but… it’s a very useful tool in the hands of the State, as and when needed.

Dissidents already know this. And they have paid the price.

So far, India has displayed admirable sobriety, maturity and restraint, by not issuing dramatic statements and maintaining a semblance of “neutrality”, while ably taking care of the Indian citizens who are stuck, stranded and scared in destinations across the Middle East.

Most of those who have returned are full of praise for the efficient handling by our government. This is quiet leadership at its best. But the real, on-ground leadership challenge was best demonstrated by those who control Dubai, which was rudely shaken up during the conflict. Imagine!

Dubai!!! Often touted as the “safest place on Planet Earth”. An international, stable haven that has attracted Indians for decades, and is frequently viewed as a suburb of Mumbai or Delhi, given the number of wealthy desis who have made it their second home.

As soon as un-doctored reels began flying around at the speed of interceptors criss-crossing the sky over upscale Jumeirah -- home to the likes of Shah Rukh Khan -- panic buttons started to get pressed. Friends, children of friends, distant relatives, long- lost cousins -- all those enamoured by the magnet called Dubai, were suddenly in touch after years of zero communication. “Are you okay?” everyone wanted to know, as news of familiar playgrounds being hit by debris and shrapnel did the rounds. “I was staying at the Fairmont last week!” … “My children were holidaying in Jumeirah… Now they are stuck till God knows when.” While loose talk about the airspace being indefinitely closed and the airport shut for weeks, did the rounds, the Sheikhs and their Big Boys took complete charge of the situation, not by sitting in insulated palaces and offices, but by walking boldly into malls and coffee shops, mingling with the people and demonstrating their preparedness to face any calamity calmly. The offer to underwrite the expenses of all the stranded passengers was another master stroke. The practical and measured approach to the escalating crisis restored the confidence of jittery locals, as they resumed their routines…

What happens next is anybody’s guess. After reading countless analyses put forward by global experts, most of us are simply bewildered and plain annoyed! We know we will be badly hit down the line, by a war that has little to do with us. Prices will shoot up, as we wonder what to cut back on, given the ambiguity of the timelines. Going by reports, Iran is unlikely to back down anytime soon. The strategy is to “expand the war, increase cost and outlast Trump”, according to an analyst. An Iran expert shrugged: “Trump already took out Khamenei, which no other US President dared to do.” It’s worth recalling Hillary Clinton’s promise to the American people in 2008, when she declared: “I want the Iranians to know that if I am the President, we will attack Iran.” But there was no “Venezuela Model” back then.

That is a Trump invention. An objective with dubious outcomes. A quick transition of power means very little if the successor is ineffectual.

But to quote the inimitable Donald Trump: “We knocked out most of the candidates, they are all dead”, he bluntly bragged. Adding, in true Trump style: “Nobody else could have done this, but me.” Oh… Oh! There goes the Nobel for Peace. But a statue in Tel Aviv is guaranteed.

Donald Trump needs to win the mid-term elections and lobby for a third term as Prezzie. The Saudis and the Israelis are generously funding his ambition. The Average Joe in America doesn’t really care, so long as fuel prices don’t go through the roof and life in the smug lane continues uninterrupted, while the rest of the world frets and fumes and blows up. The American Dream is a constant without a conscience. This is the American way of life. Oil is everything.

Donald Trump figured that out years ago. With all this keeping the world on tenterhooks, who cares about Jeffrey Epstein? That chapter is permanently closed!