Relax, BJP! Sonia Memoir Is More M&B Than Machiavelli

“Pyaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya?” This has been the dominant theme for the past week. Here’s why: Let’s start with the much discussed book — Sonia Gandhi’s memoir titled Belonging — A Journey of Love.

Great title. Powerful cover. Evocative. Emotional. Exceptional. A poora poora prem patra. To India. To Rajiv. To Indira. A far cry from what Sonia Gandhi’s admirers and critics imagined.

Well… there are three narratives running cheek-by-jowl in the 500-page tome. All three are important. Sonia as wife. Sonia as daughter-in-law. Sonia as politician. There is nothing even remotely incendiary or shocking about the contents. No big revelations. No truth bombs. Sonia could be any woman writing about her courtship, marriage, love and loss.

Except that Sonia is not ‘everywoman’. Anything but. Let me not over-emphasise what is already known and digested about an Italian woman who found true love with an Indian… and India. A beautiful woman who followed her heart and married the man whose destiny was doomed.

Sonia’s multiple tragedies and how she dealt with them, is acutely experienced by readers through her poignant recounting of the small details that caused the biggest personal and political ruptures in her life. Ironically, it’s a wonder as to why the one publicly recognised woman in India, whose silence was more eloquent than a thousand political speeches, finally agreed to open up and put it all there for mass consumption.

Why now? And more importantly, why at all? Perhaps posterity and legacy played a role. Sonia has studiously built her entire political positioning on being The Sphinx — mysterious, imperious, aloof. Now, suddenly, we are being given access to her private thoughts and opinions. Privileged information is being generously, if guardedly, shared.

Everyone is happy. Especially, Sonia’s default publishers, who gallantly and shrewdly rescued Belonging when the original big daddies of publishing (Penguin Random House India), got cold feet and dared to ask for cuts. It’s a big win for HarperCollins as the book successfully sails out and hits the top spots on the charts.

Ladies who lunch in Lutyens’ Dilli are getting their best Bahrison’s intellectual fashion looks in place, hoping to be invited to at least one of the celebratory soirees in the capital. The buzz in Khan Market is: “Yaar… have you read Soniaji’s book? It’s fabbbb.” Ask a Mumbaikar if they’ve heard of Belonging, and the answer will be, “So… Rekha has finally confirmed the affair?”

It’s a charmingly “girlie” book on many levels. This is its strength. Sonia’s ‘voice’ is vulnerable and unquestionably feminine, especially during the toughest phases, when a lesser person might have said “Ciao Ciao”, packed her bags and children, to seek refuge and comfort in a safer destination — like the country of her birth — Italy. Sonia stayed. And that is her biggest triumph.

The nervous folks within the BJP can relax. Sonia Gandhi’s book is more Mills & Boon than Machiavelli. And as for an imminent regime change — aagey aagey dekho, hota hai kya.

*****

The other love story dominating international news involves an idiot in a black leather jacket who has made a global ass of himself in what is being described as the most reckless and ridiculous spy scandal of all times. Before you start singing, “Who the f**k is Alice?’’ let it be known that the old mystery has been finally solved.

Alice exists. Alice has been found. And guess what, Nvidia shares rose sharply after the boss was caught with his pants down — with Alice! So much for investor faith and sentiment! “Chinese Spy” Alice Huang should be publicly thanked by shareholders for taking the market

value of the trillion-dollar company to a new high, after seducing the president and CEO, Mr Leather Jacket (Jensen Huang). They share a surname but are not exactly kissing cousins. Clearly, the love ka lattoo CEO of Nvidia has not watched The Spy who Loved Me, the 007 blockbuster (1977) in which Roger Moore famously played James Bond, and nearly destroyed his career by falling for Anya Amasova, a Soviet KGB agent. With this one sexcapade Jergen Huang is now the most searched ‘’celebrity ‘’ on the Internet, with memes and reels exploding across the world. An Indian content creator advised the trillionaire : “Naadey ko tight rakho, Sirji.” Too late for that.

Like the old saying goes, “There’s no fool like an old fool.” Jensen is 63 years old. Alice is 42. His net worth is pegged at US$200 billion. Go ahead — choke on that. As Alice surely must have! Choked on that… and err… something else, too. He is the world’s seventh wealthiest individual. With all that — he still turned out to be kachrapatti. According to delicious/salacious reports, Lori (65), his devoted wife, sold her wedding ring to set him up. They knew each other from the time he was 17, and Lori 19. She also gave him his first leather jacket — which has now become his uniform and trademark fashion statement (he owns 40-50 black leather jackets). They have two children, both in their mid-thirties. Jensen’s public apology to his family and colleagues has not cooled down media interest. Alice, who worked for Megaspeed in the past, may have slowed down and stepped off the accelerator for now. But Corporate America is interested in just one thing: Without a pre-nup in place, will Lori waltz away with half of Jensen’s ginormous fortune? And, most importantly — who gets to keep the leather jackets?

Moral of the story: “Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai’”, make sure the label doesn’t read ‘Made in China’.