OF CABBAGES AND KINGS | Dear JD… Send All Those Behind Gun Violence In US To Rwanda… | Farrukh Dhondy

“Sleep he said was the stepsister of death

Though no one knows if when we die, we dream?

These metaphors are contrived to redeem

Us from the fear of our last breath…”

From Zombie ki Mosombie, by Bachchoo

Dear J.D. Vance:

I haven’t addressed you directly before, but in the open letters I’ve written to your wife Usha, I have of course traced your desire to become the President of Yankeestan, and given you some advice on how to get there.

Yes, I have said you ought to convince the Republican Party and the American people that when they pull Oranegeboob off his deranged pedestal, that you will reverse the disasters he has perpetrated on your country and the world.

But, dear JD, there’s nothing much more to say -- I mean that’s the best advice I can give you in order to save you from being pulled down with Orangee when, as it now seems inevitable, he has to go.

No, this is a more serious matter on which I feel compelled to admonish you.

Here goes:

Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but last year in your country, under your vice-presidential nose, 40,000 people were killed or seriously injured by gun crime. Of these, 14,000 were fatalities. One American institute called the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention calculates that there were 15,000 firearm homicides a year and 27,000 firearm suicides.

So, JD, what or why the hell are you and Orangeboom sitting on your backsides and doing truckall about these gun crimes? Do you ever think about teenagers, sanctioned by you and your gun lobbies, picking up automatic weapons and killing thousands of innocent people -- mostly young classmates and their teachers?

Do you spend sleepless nights and inactive mornings ruminating about the fact that of the 27,000 firearm suicides a year, there are a substantial number of children induced to kill themselves by vicious grooming on the Internet?

And even if tens of thousands of the firearm suicides are not groomed children and are full-grown and mostly “sane” adults, what is it in your beknighted country that leads them to despair of life itself? Poverty, discrimination, victimisation on one front of life or other?

Now, I am not an American citizen. I don’t live in Yankeestan though I have been there scores of times. I consequently have absolutely no inkling of why these horrendous statistics about gun crimes and constant news about some young person invading a school or a campus and murdering people for no discernible reason. Even without the faintest right or position of authority to comment and condemn this tragic and perpetual occurrence, I am here telling you and the readers and, I vainly hope, the world, that I blame the Maga-maniacs who support the gun lobbies and Orangebooby and you in perpetrating the idea that whoever in America wants one should have a lethal weapon.

My solution? Round up everyone in the gun lobby or supports it and deport them via a concentration camp to Rwanda. I am sure you’ll enjoy the climate if not the overcrowding with the African country having to accommodate half the American voting population.

While issuing this prescription I have to say I make an exception for your lady wife Usha and children who I am sure don’t support the gun lobby and needn’t be sent to Rwanda. I am sure they’d be happier in Yankeestan, with the murdering-ability-advocates all gone. Whew! The kids can go to school feeling safe (er… relatively?)

Dear JD… I venture these observations and advice having followed your example and that of your possible mate Elon. Both of you ventured, knowing suckall about Britain, to pass publicly announced opinions on the killing of the university student Henry Nowak by the deranged Sikh maniac Vikrum Singh Digwa. You blamed the UK’s immigration policies for the murder, despite being ignorant of the fact that Digwa was born and brought up as a British citizen and wasn’t an “immigrant”.

Regardless of the fact that I have a degree in quantum physics from Cambridge, I know nothing about rocket science, but still it’s absolutely obvious to me that your unsolicited, ignorant, bigoted remarks about something which is none of your business is playing to the anti-immigrant gallery of intellectually challenged Americans.

Even so, the world now knows that this murderer Digwa, who has been sentenced to life for his crime, had several weapons in his home, including guns. No doubt you would, as you have done for Yankeestan murderers, supported his right to have these WLDs -- weapons of life destruction?

A specific word for your attitudes and action comes to mind. It begins with the syllable sounding like “hyp” -- and no, it isn’t followed by “othesis” or “opottamus”!

I know that David Lammy, the UK’s Deputy Prime Minister, has now publicly said that you are wrong to express ill-informed opinions about admittedly horrific events in this sceptred isle. His rebukes have been restrained and polite. Left to me to respond to your “opinions” and those of Elon “fascists ko Muska-lagao”, I would tell both of you to go some distance and have sex!

Yes, the UK has 130 deaths by guns a year. It has one-fifth of the population of the US, but 130x5 doesn’t get near to 40,000.

Wasn’t there something about “mote in your own eye” -- as you profess to be a Christian?