Agony Ashley: Long-distance is difficult

Deccan Chronicle.  | Ashley Tellis

Opinion, Columnists

Ashley Tellis will answer questions about relationships, sexual health and general knowledge and concerns about LGBT population in India.

Pic for Representational Purpose only (Photo: Pixabay)

Q I am 23 and was engaged to my boyfriend in Bombay before I discovered he was already married to a woman. I left him. I then began seeing a Punjabi guy in the Merchant Navy and we consider ourselves married. However, I can’t handle long distance and slept with someone here recently. I am also attracted to several men here. Why do we gay people always look over the shoulders of our partners at others? Are we not capable of commitment? My man is also very sentimental and will kill me if he knows all this. He will be heartbroken and really devastated. He has said I could sleep around if I wanted to but I know he does not mean it. What do I do?

Debanuj, Hyderabad

Darling, 23 is too young for commitment, let alone marriage. Your hormones are raging and so are his, I am sure, so long distance (his shoulder is not even here) monogamy is just stupid. Have a discussion with him and make the relationship open. If you really love each other, that should not be a problem at all. If he is a Punjabi mundalattu type, he will not be able to handle non-monogamy, so perhaps ending it would be wise. Don’t hurt him. A quick, surgical end would be better. He will be fine. Thoda Honey Singh sun ke theek hojaayega.

Q Are there any lesbian spaces in Hyderbad?
Anonymous lesbian, Hyderabad

People’s Choice Café is open to all and run by a bisexual woman. LGBT Hyderabad is an Insta group for all LGBT people. Gigglewater is open to people of all stripes, every day of the week. Hyderabad is still waiting for its first lesbian group. Why don’t you start it?