Agony Ashley: Personal hygiene is very important

Ashley Tellis will answer questions about relationships, general knowledge and concerns about and for the LGBT population in India.

Update: 2019-12-20 19:01 GMT
One cannot decide to make someone you do not even know your boyfriend. Relationships are formed on the basis of getting to know people, seeing if you can even talk to each other, let alone appear interesting to each other.

Q  I have had some rash around my groin as a result of sweat and also on my backside. I showed it to a doctor and he gave me medicine but it has left scab-like stuff around my groin and my backside is still full of black patches. A guy just refused to sleep with me because of it. What do I do?
Ravi, Karimnagar

I suspect you stopped the medicine before you had to. Please go see the doctor again and do the full course. Personal hygiene is extremely important. Please look after your nether areas, wear loose, flowing pyjamas or pants (even if it makes you a Gandhian believer) change them regularly and wash well.

Q I met a man at a party two weekends ago in Hyderabad and we decided to be boyfriends. I was tired of being single and was desperate for a boyfriend — so was he. He is a doctor (well-settled) and lives in Vizag but hopes to move here soon. However, he visited here last week and weekend and I found him very weird. He was possessive, over-controlling, blow hot-blow cold, different when alone with me (ignoring me and stuck on his phone) and different when others are around (all lovey-dovey). I am now feeling very uncomfortable with him. Should I dump him right away or give it some time?
Kiran Hyderabad

One cannot “decide” to make someone you do not even know your boyfriend. Relationships are formed on the basis of getting to know people, seeing if you can even talk to each other, let alone appear interesting to each other. Just because he is well-settled or you both are desperate, you can’t make him your boyfriend. Re-frame your relationship, start as friends who are attracted to each other (I am assuming you are), discuss your problems with him, discuss what both of you understand by a relationship and take it from there.

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