What is Shrekking? Breaking Down the Latest Gen-Z Dating Term

Inspired by the DreamWorks Animation film Shrek, 'Shrekking' is a new term Gen-Z has found to put their disillusionment with modern dating into words.

In the movie, Princess Fiona takes a chance on the ogre Shrek, and their relationship grows into a love story for the ages, proving that emotional connection transcends superficialities like physical appearance or social status.

Shrek becomes Fiona's prince, but Shrekking does a complete 180 from the original character, people using the word 'shrekked' to describe when someone less conventionally attractive than you breaks your heart.

Oftentimes, a person may look beyond an individual's appearance to allow a connection to form. As dating coach Amy Chan said to USA Today, "Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better."

In reality, dating someone you deem inferior to you does not guarantee a fairytale ending.

The trend is toxic all around, for both parties involved. First, the relationship itself is built on the foundation of a hierarchy. On one hand, you have a person lowering their standards in the hopes of finding a life partner, and on the other, a person is being taken on as a charity case. Whether it works or not, it is neither fulfilling nor meaningful and brews resentment on both ends.

No relationship can sustain when formed based on skewed principles. Shrekking fails to recognise that appearances have nothing to do with emotional maturity - a heartbreaker will do their deed no matter how they compare to you.

The phenomenon reveals the growing insecurities of modern dating. According to motivational speaker and life coach Alma Chopra, "While older generations tend to hold more traditional views on relationships, younger generations lean toward a more adaptive and situational approach." This flexibility can be good for casual dating or flings, but when attempting to create a genuine connection, things can quickly go downhill. What started as easy and convenient becomes full of uncertainty and leads to relationship anxiety.

With the copious amount of couple content displayed on social media, the pressure to have a thriving love life has significantly increased.

But Shrekking is not the game-changer. It's a defence mechanism disguised as a tactic and says more about the shrekked than the shrekker. As counterintuitive as it may seem, dating from a place of avoidance does not give one the upper hand. Running away from heartache might lead you straight to it.

It is easy to see why Shrekking became a thing. The abundance of options available for present-day daters has led to dating fatigue, making shortcuts like Shrekking seem appealing. But it is important to understand what you really want from your love life and why before diving into a relationship. Instead of relying on ever-changing tips and tricks to foster connection, be honest with yourself and potential love interests and save the drama.