Dump the animosity

Deccan Chronicle.  | Deccan Chronicle

Lifestyle, Sex and Relationship

Counsellors tell us how to be in touch without causing complications.

Life coach Chetna Mehrotra says that a failed relationship is no reason to cut ties with an individual, more so, when you are in the same line of work. (Photo: pixabay)

Breaking up is hard; and it is harder if there is family involved. Ask Farah Khan and Jacqueline Fernandez. Recent reports suggest that two share cold vibes on the sets of a dance reality show, where they are working together. Jacqueline and Farah’s brother, Sajid Khan dated each other a few years ago. The relationship didn’t work out well, and has in turn, affected Jacqueline and Farah’s relationship.

Jacqueline Fernandez

When a relationship ends, one might want to help their sibling get out of a defunct relationship. But what if you share a rapport with the ex? Relationship experts and life coaches say that although a break-up influences family ties, it is unfair to cut off relationships because of a not-so-happy ending.

Family counsellor Nisha Khanna observes, “Of course, you need to be there for the family first. But your sibling doesn’t have the right to dictate the rules in your life. If you shared a cordial relationship with the ex, it is alright to be in touch.” She adds, “emotional maturity is all about setting your emotions aside and being practical about matters. If the ex did something where he or she ill-treated you, then it is another matter.”

Farah Khan

Life coach Chetna Mehrotra also says that a failed relationship is no reason to cut ties with an individual, more so, when you are in the same line of work. She says, “It’s a small world. You can’t let your personal differences affect your professional space. You cannot make their discomfort known to the public because your sibling had a break-up or was in a bad place.”

She adds that if both parties have decided to work on their friendship and let go of the past, a failed romantic relationship shouldn’t decide the course of a friendship. “Draw a line, and create an emotional boundary for yourself. But you don’t have to let go of people, or be rude to them because your sibling ended his or her relationship.”

Counselling psychologist Dr. Kashish A. Chhabria says that it helps to keep the ex away during an intimate family function. She says, “Do remember that family comes first. Make sure that you don’t invite the ex to a private family affair, which could make everyone in the room uncomfortable. This, too, is all about emotional intelligence.”