Finding a date on the Net

Deccan Chronicle.  | Nisha Jamvwal

Lifestyle, Sex and Relationship

Convenient, quick and discreet, finding love through the computer has its very own appeal.

Dating online is getting safer too, with safety features like screening, and is a happy answer to lonely and shy aspirants for a partner.

Have you noticed the profusion of dating apps around and how people are increasingly looking at the net to find partners? I’d attribute it not only to an addiction to smartphones but also the reducing levels of human interaction in a world powered by the interweb. It’s seductive in its convenience, love is one click away, and finding a date is not only expedient but also less embarrassing. Dating online is getting safer too, with safety features like screening, and is a happy answer to lonely and shy aspirants for a partner.

It’s becoming an increasingly lonely world today. Families are small and individual, and it seems that often persons around you psychologically or by circumstances have no time or inclination towards providing a nourishing companionship.  Even if there is a sibling, they all around seem preoccupied in their own business of ‘getting a life’.

To make this work, it is better to be clear at the outset. You may be seeking a friendship that does not involve commitment. You make your point clear, thus inviting a likeminded response.

Even if your search is for a permanent matrimonial alliance, in urban settings people, especially young people, prefer to find their own partners than wanting to go the erstwhile way of marriages arranged by elders.

Infact, even parents these days pray and hope that their young ones find a suitable partner for themselves as their net of relatives and contacts for suitable proposals and traditional avenues have also shrunk. They are nearly relieved when their kids find a blissful companionship and even lifelong partner for themselves.

And, in any case, young ones are not so easily acquiescing to parental selection or their qualifications may be at much variance from the younger generation’s choices and desires. Parents also worry about the increasing incidence of divorce. Infact, a friend I know has persuaded her son to move into “a pad of your own, and have a live-in relationship!” rather than having the greater disruption of a divorce if the relationship does not work out!

There are many reasons why dating apps are getting so endemic to society and not just young people but many not-so-young divorcees, men and women, or those whose partners have deceased, find these apps god’s answer to the looming void of a lonely life. In a world that may judge you, it might not be so easy to express the need for companionship out in society, and these apps provide convenient avenues where even a rejection is not a humiliation gone public, nor is age a matter of shame on an app because you find similar age people looking out for companionship.

60 year olds and older can (and do) in this anonymity wend their way to suitable senior companions. Sitting behind a screen is less daunting than in front of a prospective partner being apprised. Chatting about commonalities and making a mental connect before meeting in person is a way of looking beyond the surface. You’ve already made a bond and you have some comfort to start with when you meet and then you take it from there, both hoping with an attitude of positive outlook to make an attachment they so desire. These apps are a boon to persons whose partners are deceased or divorced, or are seniors and want partners who will accept existing children, or if you just want a friendship at whatever level and some degree of commitment. It’s a new world with newer prospects of companionship and I’d say go out there and allow yourself some enjoyment, whatever the age and limitation, there is probably someone else out there who might be a good match. Click and find!

The writer is a columnist, designer and brand consultant. Email: