Anupama Parameswaran Opens Up About Toxic Relationship

Actress Anupama Parameswaran has opened up about one of the most difficult phases of her personal life, revealing that she spent nearly two years in a narcissistic and emotionally abusive relationship.

In a candid conversation with Dhanya Varma on YouTube, the actress said she was sharing her experience not for attention, but to create awareness among people who may be silently experiencing similar situations without recognising the abuse.

Anupama did not reveal the identity of her former partner. She has previously been linked to actor Dhruv Vikram, though she did not name him while discussing the relationship.

The actress explained that narcissistic abuse can often be difficult to identify because it does not always involve shouting or physical aggression. In her case, the relationship began with intense love bombing, with affection and attention gradually turning into control and emotional manipulation.

She revealed that her former partner eventually began controlling several aspects of her life, including what she wore. At one point, she said, she was expected to send photographs of her outfits for approval. Her professional life was also affected, as she claimed she was not allowed to promote films, including Dragon.

Anupama said she became increasingly isolated and deliberately distanced herself from friends and family because she feared they would recognise the situation and ask her to leave. Instead, she found herself defending and protecting the very person who was hurting her.

The relationship also moved towards marriage quickly. Anupama recalled that her former partner's family began preparing for an engagement just three months after the relationship started. However, she repeatedly postponed discussions about the engagement because something did not feel right to her.

She described living in a constant state of uncertainty, "walking on eggshells" and never knowing what might trigger another change in her partner's behaviour.

Using the character Anniyan as an example, Anupama explained how drastically her former partner's behaviour could change. She said he could become cold and dismissive, even when she was going through severe emotional distress. This would then be followed by apologies, pleas for forgiveness and promises that the behaviour would never happen again, before the cycle of love bombing and abuse repeated.

Anupama also pointed out why such relationships can be difficult for outsiders to understand. According to her, narcissistic individuals can be extremely convincing in public, appearing gentle, charming and kind. This can leave victims feeling even more confused because people around them may find it difficult to believe what happens behind closed doors.

The relationship eventually took a severe toll on her wellbeing. Anupama revealed that she lost significant weight, cried almost every night, took medication for anxiety and experienced frequent panic attacks, even while working. She said she stopped smiling, avoided eye contact and became hesitant even about showing physical affection towards her brother because she feared how her partner might react.

Looking back, Anupama said she felt as though she was gradually erasing parts of her own personality to keep the relationship alive. Her decision to speak about the experience publicly was also accompanied by guilt, as she worried that many others could be silently going through similar situations without understanding that what they were experiencing was abuse.