A kiss that was cut short by censoring scissors, and a hug that launched a thousand jibes, these were among the highlights of our national scene in November of 2015. First the film certification board cuts down to size the James Bond kiss in the film Spectre.
'Bond and gagged,' the Guardian reported, proving in true British style that brevity is indeed the soul of wit. 'Too long for the Indian audience,' was supposedly the verdict of the erudite panel.
A kiss is a kiss whether it lasts for 10 seconds or 30 seconds or 300 seconds. We're in the land of the Kama Sutra and the Khajuraho temples, and this is the age of pornography. Which planet did the board members come from?
Not surprisingly, the social media began to freak out almost immediately. 'Make in India? Good good. Make out in India? Never!' someone tweeted. Several other comments booed, titillated, and breached the vulgarity charts.
When Arvind Kejriwal hugged his wife Sunita in public, following the Aam Aami Party's astounding victory in the 2015 Delhi Assembly elections, it left the people of India stunned, and to a large extent, delighted.
But the Lalu-Arvind hug in Patna, following the victory of the Maha Ghatbandhan in the Bihar Assembly election, was seen as a huge letdown. An anti-corruption crusader actually embracing a corrupt politician! Kejriwal has betrayed the anti-corruption movement, claimed the media rather gleefully.
If someone pulls you into an embrace in the presence of a multitude of witnesses, what do you do? Push him away? Squirm and try to wriggle out? While it's true that politicians have the knack of wriggling out of tricky situations, a hug from the likes of Lalu Prasad Yadav is a different ball game altogether.
Moreover, on a happy occasion such as the oath-taking ceremony of a friendly Chief Minister, you wouldn't want to play spoilsport, would you? Poor Arvind looked distinctly uncomfortable.
In fact the hug presents an interesting study in body language cues, especially when we contrast it with the first path-breaking hug that was so joyful and spontaneous.
At this juncture I can't help remembering a third hug of yesteryears. It was when Winnie Mandela on a visit to Trivandrum in 1999 engulfed Kerala Chief Minister E K Nayanar in a mighty bear hug.
The media was delighted with the visual coup. The veteran communist was caught unawares, but resorted to his characteristic humour, uttering the Malayalam equivalent of 'no escape'. The local press carried the picture and everyone had a good laugh. No adverse remarks came from any quarter.
But we are now in the 21st century and the stakes are much higher. Politicos beware! It's safer to stick to the time-tested antiseptic handshakes. No hugs and kisses, please. We're Indians.
(Pushpa Kurup is a software entrepreneur and writer)
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