Age is just a number

Kourtney Kardashian and singer Justin Bieber were in the news earlier this week after it was revealed that the two are seeing each other. Justin, who is 15 years younger than Kourtney, is said to be thrilled with dating the reality star because she is “mature and dominant”. While many are tempted to dismiss the older woman in the relationship as the cougar, psychologists and relationship experts we spoke to tell us that older women do bring new perspectives to the relationship — which is particularly why younger men opt for them.

A 30-year-old social media manager, who was previously in a relationship with an older woman, believes that since older women are much more experienced in relationships, it cuts down on a lot of fights. He says, “Women are complicated — age doesn’t change things but they are much more mature in dealing with situations. There were absolutely no fights or cold wars between us. Older women are much more open to sexual adventures. So that was a plus.”

Relationship expert Seema Hingorany adds that maturity is often a pre-requisite in relationships — couple this with sexual compatibility, and you’ve got a winner. She says, “Men like the maturity and experience that older women bring to the relationship — they like that these women have been in more relationships or are much more sexually mature. Then of course, they learn a lot from the relationship — for instance, I had a client who told me that he takes his career much more seriously after meeting his partner. Older women give them that stability.”

Life coach Chetna Mehrotra says that owing to life experiences, older women tend to be much more confident than younger girls, and hence come without the drama. She says, “The most important aspect with older women is their acceptance of their body image and command over their communication. Mature women are more likely to express their feelings or opinions than compared to the younger lot. The ability to know what they want is what makes them a hit among young men.” She adds that usually older women do not come with a “checklist of what they need in a man”. Hence being in a relationship is no more of an “entrapment” since fear and insecurity is out of the window. She adds, “It cannot be ignored that older women do not have hidden agendas while getting into a relationship as compared to young women who are more likely to have a bucket list of agendas and expectations from a relationship. This puts the man at ease.”

Life coach Sayali Bhagat says that the nurturing quality of a woman is another factor that men respect — and are often besotted by. She says, “Most men like the presence of a nurturing woman. After all, that’s how most of us were raised — with a nurturing mother by our side. It might sound a bit weird, but older women have some of those nurturing qualities, and that’s one of the reasons why they have a magnetic personality. Young men nowadays probably also recognise that older women are adept at diligently juggling responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness and finances), which makes them a more secure option.”