'Love is a matter of choice in that situation, so just like how two strangers choose to love each other, so can a parent and a child''
Dr Nilima Mehta, based in Mumbai, was in the city to deliver an endowment lecture organised by Karna Pragya Trust (Photo: DC)
Chennai: Birth is an act of biology, parenting is an act of love- said Nilima Mehta while explaining why couples should come forward to adopt and not worry whether or not
they would be able to love a child not born to them. Mehta is a popular psychotherapist who has worked extensively in the area of child rights, child protection, juvenile justice system and is also the first to author a book on adoption in India called, “Ours by Choice”.
Mehta spoke to DC on adoption and the pressing need for more awareness on child protection and the ways to ensure it. Mehta pointed out that for many childless couples, adoption becomes a last choice, but it should essentially be “one” of the options and “not an option we resort to in the end. “In India, we continue to avoid the option because of societal pressure. In our country, the decision to adopt will be met with questions on fertility or marital intimacy, relatives also don’t show a lot of support, assuming that it is impossible to love a non-blood relation. “ It is important to let couples realise the beauty and joy of adopting and when they are able to fully accept it, they invariably spread that acceptance among their family and friends as well, added Mehta explaining how societal pressures can be done away with. “An issue couples are most apprehensive about while adopting is breaking the truth of adoption to their children. Children start to question early and one of their first questions is where they came from, said Mehta.”
On of the most beautiful analogies that can be used to create a positive effect of adoption on a child is to ask them “How did mummy and daddy meet?”, Marriage is a socio-legal procedure and so is adoption. Love is a matter of choice in that situation, so just like how two strangers choose to love each other, so can a parent and a child.
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( Source : deccan chronicle )
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