Have you noticed that every time a close friend gets into a relationship, you play second fiddle? It’s quite normal that your friendship may become strained under the euphoria of the romance that now absorbs your friend most of the time. Good friends and famous television comedy duo Kunal Vijayakar and Cyrus Broacha spent every waking hour working and partying together, until Ayesha happened.
Ayesha was the lady Cyrus met and decided to marry. Contrary to the norm, in the case of Cyrus and Kunal, the newly minted girlfriend of the time became insecure about Cryus’s close relationship with Kunal. She just couldn’t understand whether they were two or three in their relationship. And, of course, her conflict created stress for the couple.
“She would come home to find us like two big whales on our (Ayesha and Cyrus’s) bed watching television. Much to her chagrin,” admits Cyrus. Friday nights were sacrosanct for him and Kunal too — they had to hang out at the club together, over and above which they did television comedy as a duo. “It’s not that Ayesha and I did not go out together, but she felt left out with Kunal and my gregariousness and sync,” he adds.
Kunal confesses that in such cases, the husband can make a difference and help the best friend and wife adjust, “But Cyrus being Cyrus did not help matters with his jokes and jibes,” he shares. So then, what finally worked? Cyrus admits, “I didn’t prod the situation but let it be the way it was.” Kunal, on the other hand, points out, “I understood that I was the third person. Ayesha was core family. I was happy to let things organically work themselves out and today all three of us share a bond.”
The important thing to remember is that it is not a good idea to give up your best friend for your insecure partner or wife. Instead, make sure they understand that each has a place in your life and you don’t have to compromise on either to make the other happy.
Cyrus adds, “Kunal made an effort with our children and she began to calm down.” Making an effort to win over the spouse without making it too forced or artificial is an important way of retaining a friendship despite the initial disapproval displayed by the partner. And what better way into the heart of a parent than her kids? Kunal spent time with their children, forming a bond which made Ayesha warm up to him even more so that today, he is her confidante and friend. Isn’t that a heartwarming end to their saga?
The point really is that all relationships have to be worked on and all aspects of a friendship don’t work themselves out spontaneously. There needs to be thought, compassion and empathy to forge an impregnable bond.
The author is a luxury consultant. Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail.com
