Walking around the city of London on a recent holiday, I found a signboard just outside the All-Hallows-by-the-Tower, one of the most ancient churches in London, which announced “Listening Services” for people. This set me thinking.
One of the deepest bonds that we can forge with people is by lending them a ear, listening actively and engaging meaningfully (even words are superfluous in the process) when they speak. In a day and age when people are often drunk with the sound of their own voices, listening to another is elevated to a service and not without reason.
Listening is indeed one of the greatest gifts we can give to people — to hear them out fully, without interrupting their train of thought, without judging, without filling in their silences or trying to complete their sentences, being aware of the subtle, unspoken texts, the buried pain and other deeper undercurrents. It is not even necessary to offer words of advice, wisdom or solutions — a clasp of the hands or a touch on the arm or shoulder or a simple hug is enough to demonstrate that you are there, tuned in and that you empathise. As Paul Tillich said, “The first duty of love is to listen.”
Being heard gives the one speaking comfort and clarity. It takes great courage to choose to speak and often people feel lonely and isolated because they don’t have someone to listen to them and by doing that, the listener can fulfill a great need.
When you listen to another totally, even your own children — young, teenage or adult — it means you have an open mind and heart, that you are willing to hear them out, consider and accept another point of view and you are secure enough not to feel threatened by their way of seeing things (often people are so scared about what someone might say or think that they try and pre-empt the other). Which is why being able to listen is a real sign of spiritual growth and maturity and on occasions, it can put an end to needless misunderstanding.
Bestselling author and businessman, the late Stephen Covey, once pointed out, “When you really listen to another person from their point of view and reflect back to them that understanding, it is like giving them emotional oxygen.”
Listening to your inner voice, your gut instinct and following your own calling is also another step towards evolving spiritually. At times, when you are caught on the horns of a dilemma and are torn between choices tuning in to your inner self will invariably give you the right answer. Even your physical body sends out signals if you care to listen to it, about how much you can stretch it, the foods you should be eating at that point, etc.
Finally, when you are truly alive, you are acutely aware of the sounds around you. Whether it is the twitter of the birds or the trees swaying in the breeze or the waves lashing, a keen ear listens and picks up these wonderful sounds that can fill one with joy and marvel at the beauty of the world one inhabits.
The writer is a Reiki channel, yoga practitioner and spiritual seeker
