Strengthen assertiveness
If you find yourself absorbing other people’s emotions it’s time you to be assertive

How often have you heard of people being “assertive” or of you lacking “assertiveness”? By definition, assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a learnable skill and mode of communication. So today, let us explore assertiveness on a simple and relatable level, leaving the complexity of it behind.
Sensitive people are a contribution to our planet because they are the ones that are meant to heal our planet of harshness with their love and compassion. This includes resolving conflict by confronting it in a peaceful and loving manner. Awareness is the key to being assertive.Have you realised that often times, just because you are so sensitive to people’s negativity towards you, you start absorbing it all like a sponge, thinking that this is all your own?
This is where you fall into the trap of negative emotions. Also, when we fall into this trap, it affects the most important aspects of our lives, including health, wealth and energy. This, in return, leads to resentment and anger towards life and your own self too. This can be a vicious cycle and a pattern that needs to come to an end before it takes over your life.
I talk from personal experience here, as I too have been a victim to this in the past.
Today, I would like to share some tips on assertiveness with you that are easy to follow and very much effective in helping you to be you and stand in your power and yet help you be the gentle and sensitive person you are! Let us work on this step by step:
Respect: Being assertive is about acknowledging your own feelings and yet being respectful of the opposite person’s feelings, opinions and choices.
Gentleness with a firm attitude: There is no need to use harsh language or tone. You can speak gently but show firmness in your demeanour.
No apologies: Please do not apologise for your decisions or for expressing yourself. It is completely okay for you to express how you are feeling.
Acknowledge equality: You and the opposite person are equal. No one is any higher or lower than the other. Just because you or the opposite person is an authority, it does not mean that there is any differentiation that the Divine makes between the two.
You are allowed to say no: It’s completely acceptable for you to say NO when you feel the need to. You do not need to be a people pleaser because guess what, you will never succeed at being one. There will always be someone or the other who may not like you, so don’t try it. It’s always better to love yourself and it is always important for you to be important to yourself. Be your own authority and as Mahatma Gandhi said, ‘Be the change!’ This is possible and this will happen. All it needs is that one step towards being the assertive person you have always desired to be!
The writer is a spiritual
therapist, internationally accredited in angel therapy and Bach flower therapy. You may send your queries at sharmee.deccan@gmail.com